AI-made — please help correct faster-whisper small int8 + clean-pass
A machine made this from the film's audio. Names, old slang and songs are where it slips. If you spot a mistake, send the line number and the right words below — every correction makes the next transcript better.
Other tracks: en · AI-made — please help correct
00:02:07 #1 What he deserves.
00:02:09 #2 Treat him as they do a king.
00:02:11 #3 In manor royal, like a subject to a king.
00:02:14 #4 You must be loyal on this object.
00:02:17 #5 You must have your heart set.
00:02:19 #6 We'll do nothing to get on his nerves.
00:02:22 #7 Again a mention.
00:02:24 #8 Beyond your toes, men.
00:02:25 #9 He craves attention.
00:02:27 #10 He's one of those men.
00:02:28 #11 Yes, sir.
00:02:29 #12 We will give him just what he deserves.
00:02:31 #13 Oh, yes, Mr. Hortonhouse.
00:02:45 #14 I'd like to make a few changes in the assignment of the room.
00:02:48 #15 Very good madam.
00:02:49 #16 Suppose you put Mr. Chandler in the plumes.
00:02:51 #17 And Captain Sparrow, his guest of honor, will have the green duplex with the two bars.
00:02:56 #18 Two, madam?
00:02:57 #19 Why, yes. I think the captain would like two bars, don't you?
00:03:01 #20 Well, if he's just returned from Africa, he may need two bars.
00:03:06 #21 Mr. Roscoe W. Chandler.
00:03:10 #22 Mrs. Rittenhouse, there.
00:03:13 #23 Hi, Mr. Chandler.
00:03:17 #24 So nice to see you.
00:03:19 #25 The famous bogal, as I have promised.
00:03:22 #26 Mr. Chandler, how can I ever express my gratitude?
00:03:25 #27 Oh, she's nothing.
00:03:26 #28 Nothing? You returned from Europe with a masterpiece valued at $100,000.
00:03:32 #29 And instead of displaying it yourself,
00:03:34 #30 you allow me to unveil it as my party in honor of Captain Paul.
00:03:38 #31 You call that from nothing?
00:03:40 #32 Mrs. Hidden House, sir.
00:03:42 #33 Uh, may I please remove that to the place where it is to be exhibited.
00:03:46 #34 Very good, sir.
00:03:47 #35 And, uh, very careful, please.
00:03:49 #36 Mrs. Rittenhouse, do you think that is something?
00:03:52 #37 It is nothing compared to what I would like to do for you.
00:03:56 #38 You are a very beautiful woman.
00:03:59 #39 No, no, Mr. Chandler.
00:04:01 #40 Well, maybe I'm wrong.
00:04:03 #41 What?
00:04:04 #42 Please do not go, Mrs. Rittenhouse. I love you.
00:04:08 #43 I know, but you're not going to make me laugh.
00:04:10 #44 Please, thank you.
00:04:12 #45 I'll go, Father.
00:04:17 #46 If you'll pardon me.
00:04:19 #47 Have you seen Johnny Parker?
00:04:21 #48 I wish you'd get Johnny Parker out of your mind and show more respect to Mr. Chandler.
00:04:25 #49 The trouble with you is you don't take these social affairs seriously.
00:04:29 #50 What would you suggest, Mom?
00:04:31 #51 Do you aside?
00:04:32 #52 I would suggest...
00:04:33 #53 Captain Spalding has arrived.
00:04:38 #54 Yes, he is, Mr. Chandler.
00:04:40 #55 Oh, I'm so glad.
00:04:42 #56 Mr. Horatio W. Jamison.
00:05:10 #57 Feel secretary to Captain Spalding.
00:05:13 #58 It represents the Captain who insists on my involving you.
00:05:25 #59 A beast can be seen on the windy camps here.
00:05:28 #60 In one thing he is very strict.
00:05:30 #61 Once his women young and fit,
00:05:32 #62 that's for men he won't have any plans here.
00:05:35 #63 As for men, he won't have any plans here.
00:05:38 #64 There must be no plans.
00:05:41 #65 A member's totally very old.
00:05:43 #66 The women want the champagne cold.
00:05:45 #67 It's under these can be ready camps here.
00:05:48 #68 I want out to make Captain just as cold.
00:05:51 #69 Some potato, some nice, some a some lasher.
00:06:31 #70 What? From Africa to here? A dollar eighty-five? That's an outrage.
00:06:34 #71 I told her not to take me through Australia. You know it's all ripped up.
00:06:36 #72 You should have come right up to Lincoln Boulevard. Where do you come with that stuff?
00:06:39 #73 Turn around the rear end. I want to see your license plate. I don't think your license plate is around the square.
00:06:42 #74 Okay, Spoldy.
00:06:43 #75 I'll attend to you later. Don't try to pull that...
00:06:45 #76 Okay, Spoldy.
00:06:46 #77 Why, you're one of the most beautiful women I've ever seen, and that's not saying much for you.
00:06:49 #78 Captain Spoldy, Rittenhouse Manor is entirely at your disposal.
00:06:53 #79 Well, I'm certainly grateful for this magnificent washout.
00:06:55 #80 Listen, Washa, a turnout.
00:06:57 #81 And now I'd like to say a few words.
00:07:00 #82 Hello?
00:07:01 #83 I must be going. I cannot stay.
00:07:04 #84 I came to say I must be going.
00:07:06 #85 I'm glad I came, but just to say I must be going.
00:07:09 #86 La la.
00:07:10 #87 But my saying, you must stay.
00:07:12 #88 If you should go away, you spoil this party.
00:07:15 #89 I am through.
00:07:17 #90 I'll stay a week or two.
00:07:19 #91 I'll stay the summer through.
00:07:22 #92 But I am telling you.
00:07:25 #93 I must be away.
00:07:29 #94 He's my man.
00:07:37 #95 What can you say?
00:07:38 #96 In fact, I'll even say,
00:07:39 #97 No.
00:07:40 #98 But I must be...
00:07:42 #99 There's something that I'd like to say,
00:07:50 #100 that each two models too relate.
00:07:52 #101 A captain is a moral man.
00:07:54 #102 Sometimes he finds a tribe.
00:07:56 #103 This fact I'll emphasize with stress.
00:07:58 #104 I never take a drink unless...
00:08:00 #105 Somebody's buying.
00:08:01 #106 A captain is a very moral man.
00:08:04 #107 If he hears anything obscene,
00:08:06 #108 You're not surely repellent.
00:08:08 #109 I hate a dirty joke I do.
00:08:10 #110 Unless it's told by someone...
00:08:12 #111 who knows how to tell it.
00:08:15 #112 If you get a belly, moral man can be spoiled.
00:08:21 #113 If someone call me snarra, hooray, hooray, hooray.
00:08:24 #114 I'm going into the jungle where all the monkeys throw nuts.
00:08:30 #115 If I stay here I'll go nuts.
00:08:32 #116 Hooray, hooray, hooray.
00:08:39 #117 There'll be violence and this is life for science.
00:08:41 #118 Hey, hey!
00:08:42 #119 I'm terrified of this magnificent display of effusion.
00:09:23 #120 And I want you to know...
00:09:25 #121 This magnificent display of effusion.
00:09:39 #122 And I want you to know...
00:09:40 #123 The African's folding.
00:09:41 #124 The African's getting poorer.
00:09:43 #125 We brought a claim when 90 payment.
00:09:45 #126 That is what we say.
00:09:47 #127 This magnificent display of effusion.
00:09:55 #128 And I want you to know...
00:09:56 #129 Hooray for Captain Spaulding.
00:09:57 #130 The African is where I am.
00:09:59 #131 Well, somebody's got to do it.
00:10:00 #132 Captain Spaulding.
00:10:01 #133 It is indeed a great honor to welcome you to my poor home.
00:10:05 #134 Oh, it isn't so bad.
00:10:06 #135 And he was just saying...
00:10:07 #136 Wait a minute. I think you're right.
00:10:08 #137 It is pretty bad.
00:10:09 #138 As a matter of fact, there's one of the browsies
00:10:11 #139 He's looking joints I've ever seen. What package?
00:10:14 #140 Where did you get your wallpaper? Oh, good.
00:10:16 #141 You're letting this place run down. And what's the result?
00:10:17 #142 You're not getting the class of people that you used to.
00:10:19 #143 Why, you've got people here now that look like you.
00:10:22 #144 Now, I'll tell you what we do.
00:10:22 #145 We put up a sign outside, place on a new management.
00:10:25 #146 We've set up a 75-cent meal that's knocked their eyes out.
00:10:28 #147 After we knock their eyes out, we can charge them anything we want.
00:10:30 #148 Now, sign here and give me your check for $1,500.
00:10:33 #149 Now, I want to tell you, madam,
00:10:34 #150 that with this insurance policy you are provided
00:10:36 #151 for your little one and for your old age, which
00:10:38 #152 will be here in a couple of weeks now.
00:10:40 #153 If I'm any judge of horseplay, I'm not a madam.
00:10:42 #154 I feel that the time has come, the world will say.
00:10:44 #155 Captain Spauley?
00:10:45 #156 To speak of ma...
00:10:46 #157 Captain Spauley, you stand before me
00:10:48 #158 as one of the bravest men of all time.
00:10:50 #159 All right, I'll do that.
00:10:52 #160 In the north forest of Africa, there has been no danger.
00:10:55 #161 You have not dared.
00:10:56 #162 You might have, I don't smoke.
00:10:59 #163 Fearlessly, you have blazed new trails,
00:11:02 #164 scornful of the lion's roar,
00:11:04 #165 and the cannibal's tom-tom.
00:11:05 #166 Says you.
00:11:07 #167 Never once in all those weary months
00:11:09 #168 Did you all put this ball time?
00:11:11 #169 Cowardice is unknown to you.
00:11:14 #170 Fear is not in you.
00:11:16 #171 Pardon me, a caterpillar kept me.
00:11:31 #172 It's in my little black bag in the right hand corner.
00:11:40 #173 Senior Emmanuel Revelli.
00:11:54 #174 Where's the dining room?
00:11:55 #175 I'm surprised.
00:11:56 #176 Say, I used to know a fellow that looked exactly like you
00:11:58 #177 by the name of Emmanuel Revelli.
00:12:00 #178 Are you his brother?
00:12:01 #179 I am Emmanuel Revelli.
00:12:02 #180 You're Emmanuel Revelli?
00:12:03 #181 I am Emmanuel Revelli.
00:12:05 #182 Well, no wonder you look like him.
00:12:07 #183 But I still insist there is a resemblance.
00:12:09 #184 He thinks I look alike.
00:12:11 #185 I'll let you do it. It's a tough break for both of you.
00:12:13 #186 You are one of the musicians.
00:12:15 #187 But you ain't enough to do until tomorrow.
00:12:17 #188 It couldn't come tomorrow. That's too quick.
00:12:19 #189 Say, you're lucky they didn't come yesterday.
00:12:21 #190 We were busy yesterday, but we charged just the same.
00:12:24 #191 This is better than exploring.
00:12:26 #192 What do you fellas get an hour?
00:12:28 #193 Oh, for playing we get $10 an hour.
00:12:30 #194 I see. What do you get for not playing?
00:12:32 #195 $12 an hour.
00:12:33 #196 Well, clip me off a piece of that.
00:12:35 #197 Now, for rehearsing, we make special rate.
00:12:38 #198 That's a 15 dollars an hour.
00:12:40 #199 That's for rehearsing?
00:12:42 #200 And what do you get for not rehearsing?
00:12:43 #201 You couldn't afford it.
00:12:45 #202 You see, if we don't rehearse, so we don't play.
00:12:49 #203 And if we don't play, that runs into money.
00:12:52 #204 How much would you want to run into an open manhole?
00:12:55 #205 Just a cover charge.
00:12:57 #206 Well, drop in sometime.
00:13:01 #207 Sure.
00:13:02 #208 Well, we clean that up pretty well.
00:13:05 #209 Well, let's see how we stand.
00:13:07 #210 Flat footed.
00:13:09 #211 Yesterday we didn't come.
00:13:11 #212 You remember yesterday we didn't come?
00:13:13 #213 Yeah, that's $300.
00:13:15 #214 Yesterday you didn't come? That's $300.
00:13:17 #215 Yeah, that's $300. Well, that's reasonable. I can see that all right.
00:13:19 #216 Now, today we did come.
00:13:21 #217 That's, uh... That's a hundred you owe us.
00:13:23 #218 Hey, I bet I'm gonna lose on the deal.
00:13:25 #219 Tomorrow we leave.
00:13:27 #220 That's worth about... A million dollars.
00:13:29 #221 Yeah, that's all right for me, but I got a partner.
00:13:31 #222 What?
00:13:33 #223 The professor!
00:13:35 #224 I'm going to go.
00:13:39 #225 I'm going to open a big newton.
00:13:58 #226 How do you do?
00:14:00 #227 You haven't got chocolate, have you?
00:14:21 #228 He's got everything.
00:14:23 #229 Take the professor's hat and coat.
00:14:25 #230 And send for the fumigators.
00:14:27 #231 Oh, my God!
00:14:29 #232 Bong-jong, Bong-jong, did not bought you a book.
00:14:31 #233 My God!
00:14:33 #234 Say, don't you see there are ladies present?
00:14:35 #235 What do you think this is? Put that hat down, will you?
00:14:37 #236 Well, what do you do there?
00:14:39 #237 Don't put it on the ground!
00:14:41 #238 A little more to the right. That's better.
00:15:53 #239 Even the grape is well hung.
00:16:05 #240 The mistress will inspect it before the unveiling.
00:16:07 #241 Hello, Hyde.
00:16:09 #242 Mrs. White, this is a surprise.
00:16:12 #243 And how about me?
00:16:13 #244 Miss Grace, you've grown so in the last year.
00:16:16 #245 You haven't lost any weight yourself.
00:16:18 #246 No, unfortunately not.
00:16:21 #247 You know, Hyde, it seems strange to find you working here
00:16:24 #248 instead of in our own home.
00:16:25 #249 Well, after you left the Europe,
00:16:27 #250 Mrs. Rittenhouse was good enough to make me an offer.
00:16:31 #251 By the way, Hires, what's the secret about the painting?
00:16:35 #252 No secret.
00:16:36 #253 It's boguards after the hunt.
00:16:38 #254 The original?
00:16:39 #255 Most original.
00:16:42 #256 Be careful.
00:16:45 #257 Where did she get all of that, do you suppose?
00:16:47 #258 Is it very valuable?
00:16:48 #259 Is it?
00:16:49 #260 It must be worth a fortune.
00:16:51 #261 But, sis, it looks as if we yield the social honor
00:16:54 #262 of the season for Mrs. Rittenhouse.
00:16:55 #263 Well, isn't there something we can do?
00:16:57 #264 We might shoot ourselves.
00:16:59 #265 I'd rather shoot Mrs. Rittenhouse.
00:17:01 #266 Say, I have an idea.
00:17:04 #267 I copied that painting at art school a year ago.
00:17:07 #268 Well, what are they?
00:17:12 #269 Still don't get it.
00:17:14 #270 I'll go home and get the copy.
00:17:16 #271 You're substituted for the original.
00:17:17 #272 And when she unveils it, what does she have?
00:17:20 #273 An imitation that I must admit a very cool one.
00:17:23 #274 Grace, you're wonderful.
00:17:25 #275 That's what I've been telling you.
00:17:27 #276 I don't belong.
00:17:29 #277 All right.
00:17:30 #278 Feel it.
00:17:39 #279 Still feel there's a strong bond between us.
00:17:41 #280 Why most certainly, Mrs. Whitehead.
00:17:43 #281 Strong enough you should do me a big favor.
00:17:45 #282 Why, anything at all?
00:17:47 #283 Well, suppose I were to ask you to take away the bow guard.
00:17:51 #284 What, you mean?
00:17:52 #285 Oh, just temporarily, of course, and substitute something of my own.
00:17:56 #286 Well, I should consider it rather an unusual request.
00:17:59 #287 It is hard, but somehow I still think of you as one of the Whiteheads.
00:18:04 #288 You may count on me.
00:18:07 #289 My soul is yours, even though my body may belong to Mrs. Rittenhouse.
00:18:13 #290 Why, hi.
00:18:15 #291 Mrs. Whitehead.
00:18:18 #292 Aravella.
00:18:20 #293 May I present Mr. Parker?
00:18:22 #294 Oh, of the Massachusetts Parkers?
00:18:24 #295 Why, no.
00:18:25 #296 Oh, then the Southern Parkers.
00:18:27 #297 Oh, no, the Central Parkers.
00:18:30 #298 You know the benches and trees.
00:18:33 #299 I see.
00:18:34 #300 Oh, I don't like that woman.
00:18:40 #301 Well, never mind. You come over here and sit down and tell me whom you do like.
00:18:43 #302 Oh, so that's you, Jane.
00:18:46 #303 Now listen. Do you really love me?
00:18:50 #304 Why don't you marry me and find out?
00:18:52 #305 Marry you? Ha! On what?
00:18:55 #306 Last year I sold two paintings, one at a hundred and one at fifty.
00:18:59 #307 Could we live on a hundred and fifty dollars a year?
00:19:02 #308 Well, we wouldn't need any money.
00:19:04 #309 I've got a charge account in every shop on Fifth Avenue.
00:19:09 #310 Well, if I had any brains, I'd give up painting and get a regular job.
00:19:15 #311 You know, I had a cousin who made $50,000 in Wall Street last year.
00:19:19 #312 I don't want to marry a cousin. On the dawn fool, I want to marry you.
00:19:24 #313 Say, why don't we get that old bluff Chandler to buy a portrait from you?
00:19:30 #314 Chandler? What does he know about art?
00:19:33 #315 Well, unless he knows the easier it would be for you to sell them.
00:19:37 #316 They're right upstairs.
00:19:39 #317 There's a conflict wave around the other side.
00:19:41 #318 This is Rittenhouse.
00:19:46 #319 You kept exploding. How are you?
00:19:52 #320 Tell me, are you alone?
00:19:55 #321 Captain, I don't understand.
00:19:57 #322 What? You don't understand being alone?
00:19:59 #323 Don't give me that innocent stuff or you'll be alone.
00:20:02 #324 A big clock like you turning cute on me.
00:20:05 #325 me. This is written house. Oh, pardon me. You've been affected like this yourself.
00:20:15 #326 Have you? No, get it.
00:20:18 #327 Well, you will be. This is written house. Ever since I met you, I've swept you off my feet.
00:20:25 #328 Something has been throbbing within me. Oh, it's been beating like the incessant tom-tom
00:20:29 #329 in the primitive jungle. Something that I must ask you.
00:20:33 #330 What is it, Captain? Would you wash out a pair of socks for me?
00:20:37 #331 Captain, I'm surprised.
00:20:39 #332 Well, it may be a surprise to you, but it's been on my mind for weeks.
00:20:42 #333 It's just my way of telling you that I love you, that's all.
00:20:44 #334 I love you.
00:20:45 #335 Captain, this is waiting.
00:20:46 #336 I want more of you.
00:20:47 #337 I beg your pardon.
00:20:48 #338 There's never been...
00:20:49 #339 I beg your pardon.
00:20:50 #340 Am I intruding?
00:20:51 #341 Are you intruding?
00:20:52 #342 Just when I had her on the five-yard line.
00:20:55 #343 I should say you are intruding.
00:20:58 #344 Pardon me.
00:20:59 #345 I was using the subjunctive instead of the past tense.
00:21:02 #346 Yes, we're away past tense.
00:21:03 #347 We're living in bungalows now.
00:21:05 #348 This is the mechanical age, of course.
00:21:07 #349 And Mrs. Whitehead, you haven't met Captain Spaulding, have you?
00:21:10 #350 Why, no, I haven't. How are you?
00:21:13 #351 How are you?
00:21:14 #352 I'm fine, thank you. And how are you?
00:21:16 #353 And how are you? That leaves you one up.
00:21:20 #354 Did anyone ever tell you you had beautiful eyes?
00:21:23 #355 No.
00:21:24 #356 Well, you have.
00:21:26 #357 And so have you. He shot her a glance.
00:21:30 #358 Has a smile played around his lips.
00:21:34 #359 I don't think I've ever seen four more beautiful eyes in my life.
00:21:37 #360 Well, three anyway.
00:21:39 #361 You know, you two girls have everything.
00:21:40 #362 You're tall and short and swim and stout and blonde and brunette.
00:21:44 #363 And that's just a kind of a girl I crave.
00:21:46 #364 We three would make an ideal couple.
00:21:49 #365 Well, you've got beauty, charm, money.
00:21:51 #366 You have got money, haven't you?
00:21:52 #367 Because if you haven't, we can quit right now.
00:21:54 #368 The captain is charming, isn't he?
00:21:56 #369 I'm fascinated.
00:21:58 #370 I'm fascinated too.
00:22:00 #371 Right on the arm.
00:22:01 #372 Fascinated.
00:22:03 #373 When when?
00:22:04 #374 If I were Eugene O'Neill, I could tell you what I really think of you two.
00:22:08 #375 You know, you're very fortunate the theatre Gill isn't putting this on.
00:22:11 #376 And so is the Gill.
00:22:15 #377 Pardon me while I have a strange interlude.
00:22:20 #378 Are you a couple of baboons?
00:22:22 #379 What makes you think I'm mad at either one of you?
00:22:25 #380 Strange how the wind blows tonight.
00:22:27 #381 It has a finnily voice that reminds me of poor old Marston.
00:22:31 #382 How happy I could be with either of these two.
00:22:34 #383 If both of them just went away.
00:22:37 #384 What do you say, girls?
00:22:39 #385 Will you marry me?
00:22:40 #386 Captain, which one of us?
00:22:42 #387 Both of you. Let's get married. This is my party.
00:22:45 #388 Party.
00:22:49 #389 I'm talking about parties.
00:22:51 #390 I came here for a party. What happens?
00:22:54 #391 Nothing.
00:22:55 #392 Not even ice cream.
00:22:57 #393 The guards look down and laugh.
00:23:00 #394 This would be a better way for children if the parents had to eat the spinach.
00:23:05 #395 What do you say, girls?
00:23:07 #396 What do you say? Are we all going to get married all of us all of us?
00:23:11 #397 But that's big in me. Yes, and it's bigger me too. It's big of all of us. Let's be big for a change
00:23:17 #398 I'm sick of these conventional marriages one woman and one man was good enough for your grandmother
00:23:21 #399 But who wants to marry your grandmother?
00:23:23 #400 Nobody not even your grandfather think think of the honeymoon strictly private
00:23:28 #401 I wouldn't let another woman in on this well, maybe one or two, but no men I may not go myself
00:23:33 #402 Are you suggesting companion at marriage?
00:23:36 #403 Well, that's got its advantages.
00:23:37 #404 You could live with your folks, and I could live with your folks.
00:23:41 #405 And you?
00:23:43 #406 You could sell full of brushes.
00:23:45 #407 Living with your folks.
00:23:48 #408 Living with your folks, the beginning of the end.
00:23:50 #409 But I have dead yesterday, shutting out beautiful tomorrows.
00:23:54 #410 Hittiest stumbling footsteps creaking along the misty corridors of time.
00:23:58 #411 And in those corridors, I see figures.
00:24:01 #412 Strange figures.
00:24:03 #413 Weird figures.
00:24:05 #414 Steel 186, Anaconda 74, American Can 138.
00:24:10 #415 Well, let's see, where were we?
00:24:14 #416 Oh, yes, we were about to get married.
00:24:16 #417 Well, what do you think? Do you think we really ought to get married?
00:24:19 #418 I think marriage is a very noble institution.
00:24:22 #419 It's the foundation of the American home.
00:24:27 #420 Yes, but the trouble is you can't enforce it.
00:24:29 #421 It was put over on the American people while our boys were over there.
00:24:33 #422 And while our girls were over here.
00:24:35 #423 over here.
00:24:39 #424 For just such a moment as this.
00:24:41 #425 My captain, where are you going?
00:24:43 #426 I'm sorry, ladies. I'm sorry.
00:24:45 #427 But I'm afraid we're going to have to postpone the wedding for a few days.
00:24:48 #428 Maybe for a few years.
00:24:50 #429 Before I get married, I'm going to sew a couple of while oats.
00:24:53 #430 The captain's so amusing.
00:24:56 #431 He's be charming.
00:24:58 #432 So that's the famous bullguarding.
00:25:00 #433 It's a great picture, isn't it?
00:25:02 #434 Oh, you've seen it before.
00:25:04 #435 Seen it? I spent three days in Paris copying it.
00:25:06 #436 copying it you did well me and a million other young artists.
00:25:12 #437 I bet your coffee was better than any of them. Well it wasn't bad at that.
00:25:16 #438 I'll show it to you sometime.
00:25:20 #439 Listen. What? Mother's going to unveil it tonight. Yeah?
00:25:25 #440 Suppose?
00:25:27 #441 Suppose when she unveils it, it's not the Bogart at all.
00:25:31 #442 Suppose it's yours. You mean put my copy in place of the Bogart?
00:25:35 #443 are exactly my Arabelli you're crazy what good would that do what good listen they're
00:25:42 #444 on their channel will tell everybody how fine it is they're all cheer their heads
00:25:47 #445 off and then we'll tell them who really painted it they'll say you're a great
00:25:51 #446 artist you'll get six commissions for painting and we can be married and
00:25:55 #447 divorced in no time well that sounds great but what if they don't like my
00:26:00 #448 painting what then well isn't the chance worth taking I see you're admiring my
00:26:12 #449 picture yeah yes your picture yes my picture well I don't look like you hey
00:26:19 #450 wait wait some place I met you before because your faces are very familiar
00:26:23 #451 well after all I'm one of the most well-known men in America the newspapers
00:26:27 #452 will keep on running my foot a car you're not a good bevel not such a
00:26:33 #453 All right. Hey, wait. Hey, if you're not able to remember who I am.
00:26:38 #454 Now, please. Chandler is my name.
00:26:40 #455 Hasco W. Chandler.
00:26:42 #456 Yeah, but I don't care about the name.
00:26:43 #457 You see, some place I met you before,
00:26:45 #458 because your face is very familiar.
00:26:47 #459 Now, wait. Let me see.
00:26:48 #460 Were you ever in Singsing?
00:26:49 #461 Please.
00:26:50 #462 No, no, sing.
00:26:51 #463 Ha, ha, I got it. I got it.
00:26:53 #464 Julianne.
00:26:54 #465 Oh, let me alone.
00:26:55 #466 No, all right. Don't run away. Don't run away.
00:26:56 #467 Never one.
00:26:57 #468 Oh, God, listen here. I have never been in these places.
00:27:00 #469 I spend most of my time in Europe.
00:27:02 #470 Europe.
00:27:03 #471 I got it now.
00:27:04 #472 I know you come from Czechoslovakia.
00:27:07 #473 You are home, I tell you.
00:27:09 #474 You are not coming now.
00:27:10 #475 Hey, hey, wait up. Come here.
00:27:12 #476 I tell you the problem. Please get away from me.
00:27:14 #477 Hey, you remember him who was he? He come from Czechoslovakia.
00:27:17 #478 You are home, I tell you. I told you before you are mistaken.
00:27:20 #479 He come from Czechoslovakia and I know who it is.
00:27:23 #480 I tell you, he's the fish peddler from Czechoslovakia.
00:27:26 #481 Ridiculous, I tell you.
00:27:28 #482 Ridiculous. Wait, wait, wait. We prove it.
00:27:30 #483 He had a boat mark, remember?
00:27:32 #484 Please, what are you doing?
00:27:34 #485 On the arm, on the leg, on the foot, on the mustache.
00:27:39 #486 There it is, there's the boy's mark.
00:27:42 #487 I confess, I was, I was, Amy the peddler.
00:27:46 #488 Well, how did you get the Birasco W channel?
00:27:49 #489 Say, how did you get to be an Italian?
00:27:51 #490 Never mind, whose confession is this?
00:27:53 #491 Well, I'm here, boys, for heaven's sake.
00:27:55 #492 Don't say anything about this to anybody.
00:27:57 #493 And I think we can come to some agreement.
00:27:59 #494 Some arrangement which will be mutually satisfactory, yes?
00:28:01 #495 I have money.
00:28:02 #496 Shall we say, uh, $500?
00:28:05 #497 FICA, $500.
00:28:06 #498 Well, that is all the cash I have.
00:28:08 #499 $500.
00:28:09 #500 Well, all right, then tell you what we do.
00:28:11 #501 We'll take your IOU.
00:28:12 #502 I'm giving you my best offer, and that is all you will get.
00:28:15 #503 That's all you give? Yes.
00:28:17 #504 A beat the fish, man.
00:28:24 #505 Free, boy.
00:28:25 #506 Fire.
00:28:26 #507 Free.
00:28:27 #508 Now come here.
00:28:28 #509 Now listen here.
00:28:29 #510 I have you a check for $5,000.
00:28:30 #511 Now I give it to you, yeah?
00:28:31 #512 Hey, is it good?
00:28:32 #513 Well, of course it is good.
00:28:34 #514 Who would give me a bad check?
00:28:35 #515 I would.
00:28:37 #516 Hey, see if it's good.
00:28:44 #517 All right, if you don't want the check,
00:28:45 #518 then that is all you will get.
00:28:46 #519 That's all we get?
00:28:47 #520 Yes.
00:28:48 #521 He's AB to Fishman.
00:28:50 #522 AB to Fishman.
00:28:58 #523 Here we get that.
00:28:58 #524 Thank you, chief.
00:29:00 #525 My tie!
00:29:01 #526 There is my tie!
00:29:04 #527 Nothing but a pair of thieves, that's all.
00:29:07 #528 I get it a day. Well, what do you got?
00:29:10 #529 The boycott.
00:29:16 #530 Hey, where's your tie?
00:29:19 #531 That's a fine way for a millionaire to be running around, open at the neck.
00:29:22 #532 Have you got garters?
00:29:23 #533 Of course I have garters here.
00:29:25 #534 Oh, they've taken my garters too.
00:29:27 #535 A likely story. Turning collegiate, I'm a A. Have you got socks?
00:29:30 #536 Certainly, here they are.
00:29:32 #537 You have got socks. They look pretty old to me too.
00:29:35 #538 Who are they?
00:29:36 #539 Well, old socks, let me introduce myself.
00:29:38 #540 My name is Spaulding, Captain Spaulding.
00:29:40 #541 I am Roscoe W. Chandler.
00:29:42 #542 Well, this is a treat. Your treat.
00:29:44 #543 You have heard about me?
00:29:46 #544 Yes, I've heard about you for a great many years, Mr. Chandler.
00:29:49 #545 And I'm getting pretty darn sick of it too.
00:29:51 #546 Quite naturally, I have also heard of the great Captain Spaulding.
00:29:55 #547 Well, that's fine. I've heard of you and you've heard of me.
00:29:57 #548 Now, have you ever heard the one about the two Irishmen?
00:29:59 #549 Oh, yes.
00:30:03 #550 Well, now that I've got you in hysterics,
00:30:05 #551 let's get down to business.
00:30:05 #552 My name is Spaulding, Captain Spaulding.
00:30:07 #553 I am Roscoe W. Chandler.
00:30:09 #554 And I am Jeffrey T. Spaulding.
00:30:10 #555 I bet you don't know what the T stands for.
00:30:12 #556 Uh, Thomas?
00:30:14 #557 Edgar, you were close, though.
00:30:17 #558 You were close, though, and you still are, I'll bet.
00:30:18 #559 Now, this is what I want to talk to you about, Mr. Chandler.
00:30:21 #560 How would you like to finance a scientific expedition?
00:30:23 #561 Well, that is a question.
00:30:25 #562 Yes, that is a question.
00:30:26 #563 You suddenly know a question when you see it.
00:30:27 #564 I congratulate you, Mr. Chandler.
00:30:29 #565 And that brings us right back to where we were.
00:30:31 #566 How would you like to finance a scientific expedition?
00:30:34 #567 Well, is there any particular kind of an expedition you had in mind?
00:30:37 #568 Well, I'll tell you, I'm getting along in years now,
00:30:38 #569 and there's one thing that I've always wanted to do before I quit. What is that?
00:30:41 #570 Retire.
00:30:42 #571 Now, would you be interested in a proposition of that kind?
00:30:45 #572 You know, I've always had an idea that my retirement would be the greatest contribution of science that the world has ever known.
00:30:50 #573 This is your chance, Mr. Chandler, when I think what you have done for this country.
00:30:53 #574 And by the way, what have you done for this country?
00:30:55 #575 Oh, fair. I have always tried to do what I could,
00:30:58 #576 especially in the world of art.
00:31:00 #577 Art? Well, I don't know how we drifted around to that,
00:31:02 #578 but what is your opinion of art?
00:31:03 #579 I am very glad you asked me.
00:31:05 #580 I withdraw the question.
00:31:07 #581 This fellow takes things seriously.
00:31:08 #582 It isn't safe to ask him a simple question.
00:31:10 #583 Tell me, Mr. Chandler, where are you planning on
00:31:12 #584 putting your new opera house?
00:31:13 #585 Oh, I thought I should like to put it
00:31:14 #586 somewhere near Central Park.
00:31:16 #587 I see. Why don't you put it right in Central Park? Could we do that?
00:31:18 #588 Sure. Do it at night when no one is looking.
00:31:20 #589 Why don't you put it in the reservoir
00:31:21 #590 and get the whole thing over with?
00:31:22 #591 Of course, that might interfere with the water supply.
00:31:25 #592 But after all, we must remember that art is art.
00:31:27 #593 Still, on the other hand, water is water, isn't it?
00:31:29 #594 And east is east, and west is west.
00:31:31 #595 And if you take cranberries and stew them like applesauce,
00:31:33 #596 it tastes much more like prunes than rhubarb does.
00:31:36 #597 Now, uh, now you tell me what you know.
00:31:39 #598 Well, I would be very glad to give you my opinion. Well, that's dandy.
00:31:43 #599 I'll ask you for them someday. Remind me, will you?
00:31:45 #600 I'll tell you what.
00:31:45 #601 Could you come to my office at 10 o'clock tomorrow morning?
00:31:48 #602 If I'm not there, ask Mr. Jamison.
00:31:50 #603 That's my secretary.
00:31:50 #604 And if he sees you, I'll discharge him.
00:31:52 #605 That's a date now. Saturday at 3.
00:31:54 #606 No, you better make it too.
00:31:55 #607 See, I'm going to Europe Monday. Pardon me.
00:31:56 #608 My name is Spaulding. I've always wanted to meet you, Mr. Chandler.
00:31:59 #609 Tell me, what do you think of the traffic problem?
00:32:01 #610 What do you think of the marriage problem?
00:32:02 #611 What do you think of it night when you go to bed, you beast?
00:32:06 #612 Well, I'll tell you, my dear...
00:32:07 #613 I'd rather not discuss it any further.
00:32:09 #614 Remember, there are children present.
00:32:11 #615 Fairly you see, my dear captain.
00:32:12 #616 In the last analysis, it is a question of money.
00:32:15 #617 The nickel today is not what it used to be 10 years ago.
00:32:18 #618 Well, I'll go further now. I'll get off at the depot.
00:32:20 #619 The nickel today is not what it was 15 years ago.
00:32:23 #620 Do you know what this country needs today? What?
00:32:24 #621 A seven-cent nickel.
00:32:26 #622 Yes, sir. We've been using the pie-signic on this country since 1492.
00:32:30 #623 Now, that's pretty near 100 years daylight saving.
00:32:32 #624 Now, why not give the 7-signicle a chance?
00:32:34 #625 If that works out next year, we could have an 8-signicle.
00:32:35 #626 Think what that would mean.
00:32:37 #627 You could go to a newsstand, buy a 3-sign newspaper,
00:32:39 #628 and get the same nickel back again.
00:32:40 #629 One nickel carefully used would last a family a lifetime.
00:32:43 #630 Captain Spaulding, I think that is a wonderful idea.
00:32:46 #631 You do, eh? Yes.
00:32:47 #632 Well, then there can't be much to it. Forget about it.
00:32:50 #633 Well, eh, well, tell me, Captain Chen now.
00:32:53 #634 Eh, excuse me, Spaulding, you say?
00:32:55 #635 That's right. I'm spoiling and you're a Chandler.
00:32:58 #636 That's happening more of that either, right? Bad enough being spoiling.
00:33:01 #637 Well, tell me, Captain Spaulding.
00:33:03 #638 Spaulding is the name, yes?
00:33:05 #639 That's right. I'm Chandler. I'm Spaulding.
00:33:08 #640 Can I look at a program a minute?
00:33:10 #641 I might be the news weekly for all he knows or coming next week.
00:33:14 #642 Well, tell me, Captain Spaulding, you've been quite a trouble.
00:33:17 #643 What do you think about South America? I'm going there soon, you know.
00:33:20 #644 Is that so? Where you going?
00:33:21 #645 Uruguay.
00:33:22 #646 Well, you go Uruguay and I'll go mine.
00:33:24 #647 I'll tell you, you take Apacinia and I'll take a hot butterscotch sundae on rye bread.
00:33:28 #648 Let's go and see what the boys in the back room will have.
00:33:31 #649 Yeah, you all can pass with the original.
00:33:33 #650 All right, let's.
00:33:34 #651 Well, look closer.
00:33:35 #652 Maybe you'll find it's better.
00:33:37 #653 Oh, you're talking.
00:33:47 #654 You see my partner?
00:33:54 #655 Balise, I got some of the eight of them.
00:33:57 #656 Oh, Mr. Raviola.
00:34:06 #657 Ruben, you're a good friend.
00:34:14 #658 I'm a good friend.
00:34:16 #659 Oh, Mr. Raviola.
00:34:18 #660 Ravalli, Ravalli.
00:34:20 #661 Oh, Mr. Ravalli.
00:34:22 #662 I want you to do something for me.
00:34:24 #663 I'd do anything for you.
00:34:26 #664 What do you want I should do?
00:34:27 #665 Do you see that painting?
00:34:29 #666 You mean this big?
00:34:31 #667 I want you to take that out of the frame
00:34:33 #668 and put this one in its place.
00:34:35 #669 You want I should take this one down,
00:34:37 #670 put this one upstairs, eh?
00:34:38 #671 Yes, that's it.
00:34:40 #672 You want I should steal?
00:34:42 #673 Oh, no, no.
00:34:44 #674 It's not stealing.
00:34:45 #675 Well, then I couldn't do it.
00:34:46 #676 No.
00:34:47 #677 Come on, come on.
00:34:49 #678 Come on.
00:34:50 #679 Ha, ha, ha.
00:34:55 #680 Now, come here.
00:35:03 #681 That's all you do, eh?
00:35:04 #682 Chase it away.
00:35:05 #683 Look.
00:35:06 #684 Oh, stop.
00:35:07 #685 Everybody here plays cards.
00:35:08 #686 They don't ask us.
00:35:10 #687 Here we are always stole the time.
00:35:11 #688 We've been here all day, eh?
00:35:13 #689 How much do we make?
00:35:15 #690 We make a nothing.
00:35:17 #691 The first thing you know, we're going to live on a charity.
00:35:19 #692 Then we go to the old lady's home.
00:35:21 #693 How do you like that?
00:35:22 #694 No.
00:35:23 #695 No, that's a no good.
00:35:26 #696 These people here all have got the money.
00:35:28 #697 Now, we've got to get us someone to play with us.
00:35:30 #698 See? I play anything.
00:35:32 #699 Oh, see, you're a very...
00:35:34 #700 I want to speak to you about the music.
00:35:36 #701 What do you do?
00:35:37 #702 Well, it doesn't matter with you.
00:35:39 #703 I thought it would be nice if you could go and wait for me.
00:35:41 #704 What is this?
00:35:43 #705 Oh, my dear, I...
00:35:45 #706 Hello, Professor.
00:35:46 #707 Good heavens, what's the matter with this beat?
00:35:48 #708 Have you ever...
00:35:49 #709 Play all kinds of games.
00:35:50 #710 We play blackjack, soccer...
00:35:52 #711 Oh, my dear, I'm so sorry.
00:35:54 #712 That's a mother. Sorry.
00:35:58 #713 That's a little bit of weight, Miss!
00:35:59 #714 Mrs. White, did I show off?
00:36:01 #715 I should have put it in your leg.
00:36:03 #716 Devon?
00:36:06 #717 I wouldn't have had this hat before the word!
00:36:07 #718 I don't know how to write.
00:36:09 #719 Five, twenty.
00:36:10 #720 Now, you go this way, sorry!
00:36:13 #721 One, two, three, Company boy.
00:36:23 #722 Oh, look, check terribly, folks.
00:36:24 #723 This is...
00:36:26 #724 Let's suffocate them for a bit more.
00:36:29 #725 Come on, let me get some.
00:36:31 #726 I'm just trying to watch my child.
00:36:36 #727 Oh, this is terrible.
00:36:38 #728 Yes, you can't take it there.
00:36:40 #729 Well, why don't you leave him alone?
00:36:58 #730 That this game is over, how about playing some bridge?
00:37:01 #731 You play bridge?
00:37:02 #732 I play bridge a little.
00:37:03 #733 What do you play for?
00:37:04 #734 Oh, we just play for small states.
00:37:06 #735 And French fried potatoes?
00:37:09 #736 Steady it up right over there.
00:37:11 #737 Very good, madam.
00:37:18 #738 Up and down the aisle.
00:37:20 #739 Look at this.
00:37:21 #740 The whole house will be torn to the pieces.
00:37:23 #741 It is one thing to do.
00:37:25 #742 It's a way high.
00:37:31 #743 I'll pay over here.
00:37:32 #744 Now, how do you want to play, honest?
00:37:34 #745 Well, I hope so.
00:37:36 #746 You put that right away.
00:37:38 #747 It's your own fault.
00:37:44 #748 Come along now, we've cut for partners.
00:37:46 #749 Oh, he's my partner. That's the only way we play.
00:37:48 #750 I'm sorry, but it's against the rules of the game.
00:37:50 #751 We have to cut for partners.
00:37:52 #752 All right, we cut for partners.
00:37:54 #753 I got Ace of Spades.
00:37:56 #754 He's got Ace of Spades.
00:37:58 #755 That's what you call coincidences.
00:38:00 #756 Two aces of states?
00:38:01 #757 Yeah, he's got thousands of them.
00:38:03 #758 Well, I suppose that gives him a choice of seats.
00:38:06 #759 You have the choice of seats.
00:38:08 #760 Good heaven, not on her desk.
00:38:10 #761 All right, go on, go on, sit down.
00:38:12 #762 I don't know.
00:38:14 #763 He thought it was contact bridge.
00:38:16 #764 Just a minute, Mal.
00:38:18 #765 Shuffle the cards.
00:38:19 #766 Yeah, you gotta scramble them up a little bit, you know?
00:38:21 #767 I'd like to cut those cards.
00:38:37 #768 Hey, that's a letter.
00:39:01 #769 Yeah. And you're a bit partner. You pass. Miss deal.
00:39:31 #770 You pass. I did one phase. I pass three phase.
00:39:38 #771 All phase one clock. I don't understand this kind of thing.
00:39:46 #772 Well you don't have to do it for space and.
00:39:52 #773 Why, I haven't displayed in my hand.
00:39:54 #774 All right, we double.
00:39:56 #775 There's something wrong here. I want you to go over the bidding.
00:40:00 #776 Oh, hey, she wants to start them up again, the bidding.
00:40:03 #777 He bids one.
00:40:04 #778 One? One what?
00:40:06 #779 That's all right, you'll find out.
00:40:08 #780 But we have to know what he's bidding.
00:40:10 #781 We tell you later. Now I bid two.
00:40:13 #782 Two what?
00:40:14 #783 Two of the same he bids. Now the bidding's over. See, that's enough bidding.
00:40:18 #784 It's your leave.
00:40:20 #785 It's your lead.
00:40:22 #786 Oh, no, you can't lead that.
00:40:24 #787 Why, we can't take it.
00:40:27 #788 Well, what should I lead?
00:40:29 #789 He'll show you.
00:40:30 #790 Ace of Spades. That's a very good one.
00:40:33 #791 Three of Spades.
00:40:35 #792 Four of Spades.
00:40:39 #793 You trumpet?
00:40:40 #794 That's what you call a finesse.
00:40:45 #795 No spades, partner.
00:40:48 #796 No spades.
00:40:49 #797 Ace of Hearts.
00:41:00 #798 And ace the clubs.
00:41:07 #799 Dummy leads. The dummy leads.
00:41:13 #800 I'm not the dummy.
00:41:15 #801 Well, you could be.
00:41:17 #802 Ace the diamonds.
00:41:22 #803 100 aces, huh?
00:41:26 #804 200? That's better.
00:41:29 #805 Ace the hearts.
00:41:31 #806 That'll go and make a big slam.
00:41:34 #807 Make a big, big slam.
00:41:36 #808 Ace the spades.
00:41:44 #809 It's a good place to play a good game.
00:41:47 #810 Ace of Spades plays a fine game already.
00:41:52 #811 Ace of Spades.
00:41:55 #812 I refuse to play any longer.
00:41:56 #813 You're nothing but a couple of cards, Charles.
00:41:58 #814 What about our shoes?
00:41:59 #815 What about that, dear?
00:42:00 #816 My shoes are gone.
00:42:01 #817 Gracious he has your slippers.
00:42:02 #818 Come along.
00:42:03 #819 Come down here.
00:42:04 #820 Hey, you're taking the ladies' shoes, eh?
00:42:08 #821 What do we do, eh?
00:42:59 #822 We've got to take that fix out of here.
00:43:01 #823 This one upstairs for the lady.
00:43:02 #824 Wait, don't touch.
00:43:03 #825 You've got everything ready, eh?
00:43:05 #826 The shovel, the axe, the dynamite, the pineapples.
00:43:07 #827 Where's the flesh?
00:43:09 #828 That room, but apart, it's a no flesh.
00:43:13 #829 A flesh.
00:43:14 #830 There's a flesh.
00:43:15 #831 A flesh.
00:43:16 #832 That's a flesh.
00:43:17 #833 A flesh.
00:43:18 #834 Yeah, that's a flesh.
00:43:21 #835 That's a fish.
00:43:22 #836 And the one with the fish.
00:43:23 #837 You know fish.
00:43:24 #838 A flesh.
00:43:25 #839 Oh, stop it, you're crazy.
00:43:27 #840 When you go out in the night time, you gotta have a the flesh.
00:43:30 #841 It's a no flesh.
00:43:33 #842 That's a flesh.
00:43:34 #843 A flesh.
00:43:35 #844 When you want to see somebody, you gotta have a the flesh.
00:43:39 #845 That's a flesh.
00:43:40 #846 What I gonna do with a flesh?
00:43:41 #847 A flesh.
00:43:42 #848 It's a blitz. What are you going to do?
00:43:45 #849 A half blitz. What do you got?
00:43:47 #850 What do you call a flutz?
00:43:50 #851 All you got is a fish, and a flutz, and a blitz, and a flutz, and a flutz.
00:43:55 #852 Stop it, this. Where's the flesh?
00:43:58 #853 Look, when everything is a light, and you want to make them a dark, what do you do?
00:44:04 #854 You're crazy. No one are a blackjack.
00:44:08 #855 Jack, it's my mistake.
00:44:10 #856 When everything is dark, you want to make them alive.
00:44:14 #857 That's a flash. That's a flash.
00:44:17 #858 That's a flash.
00:44:19 #859 That's so good.
00:44:26 #860 The storm put the lights out. Nobody can see what we do.
00:44:29 #861 That's fine. Where's the flash?
00:44:33 #862 Where's the flash?
00:44:35 #863 I don't want the fish. A flash.
00:44:37 #864 No, no, no, no. It's a matter for you.
00:44:43 #865 Flesh before the people of karma get to the flesh. That's a money loser
00:44:48 #866 Well, you gotta find it look for it. All right. All right. Never mind. Come on. We'll wait without
00:45:13 #867 Quiet I know where you are. It's all right folding. Where are you? Yeah? Oh captain? Yes?
00:45:23 #868 What's the trouble the storm has put the lights out and you can't see your hand a bit for your face
00:45:29 #869 Well, you wouldn't get much enjoyment out of that.
00:45:31 #870 Well, I don't know what you're going to do,
00:45:33 #871 but I'm going to take a nap.
00:45:34 #872 Leave me a call for three o'clock.
00:45:36 #873 Make it 3.30.
00:45:41 #874 You say you can't serve us around here.
00:45:44 #875 Pardon me, Mr. Rittenhouse. Did you lose a fish?
00:45:47 #876 What?
00:45:48 #877 Well, somebody lost it.
00:45:49 #878 Will you take it out in the kitchen and have it fried for me?
00:45:52 #879 Did you hear that?
00:45:54 #880 There's somebody over there.
00:45:57 #881 I say there's somebody over there.
00:45:59 #882 Don't be silly.
00:46:00 #883 The house is just settling, that's all.
00:46:02 #884 Anybody over there?
00:46:04 #885 I don't see anybody.
00:46:06 #886 There you are. There was anybody over there.
00:46:08 #887 We'd see him, wouldn't we?
00:46:09 #888 He's there.
00:46:16 #889 You know what I think? I think you've got roaches.
00:46:18 #890 Yes, you've got roaches, all right.
00:46:30 #891 And the biggest one has got asthma.
00:46:43 #892 Hey, somebody put it under lights.
00:46:45 #893 All right, we'll get to the picture, though.
00:46:47 #894 We may know we can go on sound.
00:46:48 #895 Come on, let's go. Get out of here.
00:46:50 #896 The fish. Come on.
00:46:55 #897 Come on, let's go this way.
00:47:04 #898 I think it's a shortcut. Come on, let's go.
00:47:07 #899 California!
00:47:11 #900 Now, my friend, before we start the musical program,
00:47:21 #901 Captain Spalding has kindly considered to tell us about his trip to Africa.
00:47:25 #902 Captain Spalding.
00:47:31 #903 I'm going to tell you of that great mysterious wonderful continent known as Africa.
00:47:35 #904 Africa is God's country, and he can have it.
00:47:38 #905 Well, sir, we left New York drunk and early on the morning of February 2nd.
00:47:44 #906 After 15 days on the water and 6 on the boat, we finally arrived on the shores of Africa.
00:47:49 #907 We had once proceeded 300 miles into the heart of the jungle,
00:47:52 #908 where I shot a polar bear.
00:47:54 #909 This bear was six foot seven and the stocking feet and her shoes are on fire.
00:47:57 #910 Talk me just a moment, Captain, just a moment.
00:47:59 #911 I always thought the polar bears lived in the frozen north.
00:48:03 #912 Oh, you did. Well, this bear was anemic and he couldn't stand the cold climate.
00:48:06 #913 He was a rich bear and he could afford to go away in the winter.
00:48:09 #914 You take care of your animals and I'll take care of mine.
00:48:12 #915 Frozen north, my eye.
00:48:17 #916 From the day of our arrival, we led an active life.
00:48:20 #917 The first morning saw us up at six,
00:48:22 #918 breakfasted and back in bed at seven.
00:48:24 #919 This was our routine for the first three months.
00:48:26 #920 We finally got so we were back in bed at six, three.
00:48:29 #921 One morning I was sitting in front of the cabin
00:48:31 #922 smoking some meat.
00:48:34 #923 Yes, that wasn't a cigar store in the neighborhood.
00:48:36 #924 As I say, I was sitting in front of the cabin
00:48:38 #925 when I bagged six tigers.
00:48:39 #926 Oh, Captain! Captain, did you catch six tigers?
00:48:43 #927 I bagged them.
00:48:44 #928 I bagged them to go away,
00:48:45 #929 but they hung around all afternoon.
00:48:47 #930 They were the most persistent tigers I've ever seen.
00:48:50 #931 The principle animals inhabiting the African jungle
00:48:53 #932 are moose, elks, and Nites of Piteous.
00:48:56 #933 Of course you all know what a moose is, that's big game.
00:48:59 #934 The first day I shot two bucks, that was the biggest game we had.
00:49:02 #935 As I say you all know what a moose is,
00:49:04 #936 a moose runs around on the floor and eats cheese
00:49:07 #937 and is chased by the cats.
00:49:08 #938 The elks on the other hand live up in the hills
00:49:11 #939 and in the spring they come down for their annual convention.
00:49:14 #940 It is very interesting to watch them come to the waterhole
00:49:17 #941 They should see them run when they find out there's only a water hole.
00:49:20 #942 What they're looking for is an alcohol.
00:49:23 #943 One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas.
00:49:26 #944 How he got in my pajamas, I don't know.
00:49:28 #945 Then we tried to remove the tusks.
00:49:30 #946 The tusks. That's not so easy to say. Tusks.
00:49:33 #947 You try that sometime.
00:49:34 #948 Oh, simple tusks.
00:49:36 #949 Pardon me. My name is Sporting. I've always wanted to meet you, Mr. Chandler.
00:49:40 #950 As I say, we tried to remove the tusks.
00:49:42 #951 But they were embedded in so firmly that we couldn't budge them.
00:49:45 #952 in Alabama, the Tuscaloosa.
00:49:47 #953 But that's entirely irrelevant to what I was talking about.
00:49:51 #954 We took some pictures of the native girls,
00:49:52 #955 but they weren't developed.
00:49:54 #956 But we're going back again in a couple of weeks.
00:49:56 #957 A very electing speech, Captain.
00:49:58 #958 Very electing.
00:49:59 #959 Three cheers for Captain Spaulding.
00:50:05 #960 Really?
00:50:06 #961 Three cheers.
00:50:07 #962 No one asked for the chairs.
00:50:09 #963 Put them right where you found them.
00:50:10 #964 Now go down.
00:50:11 #965 Go on. Go on.
00:50:12 #966 Get up.
00:50:15 #967 Go on.
00:50:16 #968 And now, friend, Senor Avelle will oblige us at the piano.
00:50:21 #969 Senor Avelle.
00:50:22 #970 Senor Avelle's first selection will be somewhere my love lies sleeping with a male chorus.
00:50:30 #971 I think I went past it.
00:51:54 #972 If you come around again, jump off.
00:51:56 #973 Let's cap this up for three days.
00:52:00 #974 Wouldn't you consider our harsh money, would you?
00:52:04 #975 I can't get them now. I've got a way to inspiration.
00:52:10 #976 It's about time.
00:52:11 #977 Play the song about Montreal.
00:52:14 #978 Montreal?
00:52:15 #979 I'm a dreamer, Montreal.
00:52:17 #980 I don't know that. I'll tell you what I do.
00:52:20 #981 I play you one of my own compositions by Victor Hyden.
00:52:23 #982 Make it short.
00:52:24 #983 You play from both ways over a team score at that time.
00:54:50 #984 So do the old blue one.
00:54:53 #985 What are you for?
00:54:55 #986 They may excriminate each other.
00:54:57 #987 The best thing you can have for either of them.
00:55:00 #988 I'll be out so much for the others.
00:55:02 #989 Once for all, Purdue.
00:55:03 #990 I don't have to finish.
00:55:21 #991 I wish you did.
00:55:22 #992 Yours.
00:55:23 #993 What?
00:55:24 #994 Find a song about the Irish Corruptors.
00:55:26 #995 Irish Corruptors.
00:55:27 #996 My fate is in your hands.
00:55:29 #997 They've got everything else here.
00:56:08 #998 And, uh, now Mrs. Rittenrotten.
00:56:11 #999 Mrs. Rittenhouse.
00:56:12 #1000 Yes, uh, Slythera.
00:56:13 #1001 I have a little surprise for you.
00:56:15 #1002 The man is here for the piano.
00:56:16 #1003 Oh, Captain.
00:56:17 #1004 No, really.
00:56:18 #1005 What I meant to say was that, uh,
00:56:19 #1006 when I departed from the natives in Africa,
00:56:21 #1007 I was presented with a little gift.
00:56:23 #1008 And this gift I'm going to give to you.
00:56:25 #1009 And a very low figure.
00:56:26 #1010 Oh, how wonderful, Captain.
00:56:28 #1011 Don't be too excited.
00:56:32 #1012 The whole thing is done with the white of an egg.
00:56:35 #1013 What is it, Captain?
00:56:38 #1014 What is it?
00:56:39 #1015 This is a hope chest for a guinea pig.
00:56:42 #1016 This magnificent chest?
00:56:47 #1017 I now take great pleasure in presenting to you my compliments.
00:56:50 #1018 Captain, this leaves me speechless.
00:56:52 #1019 I'll see that you remain that way.
00:56:54 #1020 And now, ladies and gentlemen...
00:56:56 #1021 I'm outside and say that.
00:56:57 #1022 If we will all adjourn to the library, Mrs. Riffenhaus has another,
00:57:01 #1023 and perhaps a greater surprise for us.
00:57:04 #1024 This way, Captain.
00:57:05 #1025 Riffenhaus, how do you pay hives?
00:57:13 #1026 By the way, or by the prompt?
00:57:16 #1027 By the fine.
00:57:17 #1028 Thank you, Milly, to reveal the masterpiece of Francois Jean du Bois-Gilbert Bogart.
00:57:41 #1029 No trains will be sold after the magazines leave the depot.
00:57:46 #1030 After the hunt.
00:57:52 #1031 There. I told you you were a great artist.
00:57:56 #1032 Shall we spill the beans now?
00:57:58 #1033 Let's wait a minute. Something might happen.
00:58:00 #1034 Now I'm sure we'd all appreciate a few words from Mr. Chandler,
00:58:04 #1035 who will tell us something of the life and work of the artist Bogart.
00:58:08 #1036 And keep it clean.
00:58:10 #1037 Mr. Chandler.
00:58:12 #1038 My friends, I'm quite sure that you're all familiar with Bogart.
00:58:22 #1039 And this is perhaps his masterpiece.
00:58:25 #1040 In it, he has achieved the greatness in the handling of color and light.
00:58:30 #1041 Now, you will see here that...
00:58:32 #1042 Great! This isn't a bite by my picture. This is a hank imitation.
00:58:36 #1043 What do you mean, Mr. Tampler?
00:58:38 #1044 Well, here, see for yourself.
00:58:40 #1045 You are right. It is not the Bogard.
00:58:46 #1046 It certainly isn't. There's a dog missing.
00:58:48 #1047 Oh, Captain Spaulding, what shall I do?
00:58:50 #1048 Telephone the dog catches immediately.
00:58:52 #1049 They have taken the original and left me this.
00:58:54 #1050 Leave it to me. I'll throw some light on this subject.
00:58:57 #1051 I said, I'm not a man.
00:59:00 #1052 Come on, come on!
00:59:01 #1053 I'm not a man!
00:59:02 #1054 What happened?
00:59:03 #1055 Oh, how it's all the blood!
00:59:05 #1056 Mr. Reddenhouse, did you lose that fishing?
00:59:07 #1057 Oh, Captain, I'm so worried!
00:59:09 #1058 Good heavens!
00:59:10 #1059 That wood is gone too!
00:59:12 #1060 Oh, this is awesome!
00:59:14 #1061 The crooks, the crooks!
00:59:15 #1062 They are escaping!
00:59:16 #1063 Follow me, man!
00:59:17 #1064 Never mind the man, just the women!
00:59:19 #1065 Oh, Captain!
00:59:20 #1066 You went out here, sir!
00:59:33 #1067 Funny in all my life.
00:59:34 #1068 It was great, and there goes our old bar.
00:59:36 #1069 Funny?
00:59:40 #1070 Oh, the, the, the, the, the very...
00:59:42 #1071 Why, you're not afraid, are you, Pied?
00:59:43 #1072 Oh, no, I'm not afraid. Oh, dear, no.
00:59:45 #1073 Only, you see, well, they were talking of having the police here.
00:59:49 #1074 And I wouldn't want the police to suspect me.
00:59:51 #1075 Why, they wouldn't suspect you.
00:59:53 #1076 Oh, yes, they would.
00:59:55 #1077 You see, the last time they suspected me, I got four years.
00:59:59 #1078 All right. All right, Hives.
01:00:01 #1079 Give me the painting, and I'll take care of it.
01:00:02 #1080 Good. Good heavens! It's gone! Gone?
01:00:18 #1081 I left it in the hand.
01:00:19 #1082 Then there must be.
01:00:23 #1083 If I'd known that, I never would have come.
01:00:25 #1084 Wait a minute! That professor!
01:00:29 #1085 The professor? I see!
01:00:31 #1086 Hives, that's the fellow in the wood pile. Now listen, we've got to get that picture away from you.
01:00:36 #1087 Might I suggest some of this?
01:00:40 #1088 Oh, very satisfactory in these cases. A few drops on a handkerchief and the professor will no longer obstruct us.
01:00:48 #1089 You're sure he'd do the trick?
01:00:49 #1090 Oh, absolutely. Would you care to try, sir?
01:00:52 #1091 No, thanks, Hives. Let's find the professor.
01:00:55 #1092 I don't see how the thieves could have gotten away.
01:01:06 #1093 I wonder who it could have been.
01:01:07 #1094 It's a good thing we substituted yours,
01:01:09 #1095 supposing the thieves had gotten away with the bullguard.
01:01:12 #1096 Oh, it'd be all right if they stole mine.
01:01:14 #1097 Oh, darling, I didn't mean that.
01:01:16 #1098 But what would mother do?
01:01:18 #1099 Well, it's worth $100,000.
01:01:20 #1100 How could she have replaced it?
01:01:22 #1101 Oh, I understand.
01:01:24 #1102 Ha.
01:01:26 #1103 But isn't it exciting?
01:01:28 #1104 Just think, whoever took it was right in the room with us.
01:01:32 #1105 Just like Raffles.
01:01:34 #1106 Oh, isn't it romantic?
01:01:36 #1107 All the boys I've known used to stay out in the autumn fridges.
01:02:05 #1108 That certain something comes up and down my spine.
01:03:45 #1109 Loathing all around.
01:03:56 #1110 Other girls may just leave me.
01:08:08 #1111 Before you all morning.
01:08:09 #1112 I was busy all morning.
01:08:10 #1113 Senior Avelli, you've got to put that painting back.
01:08:13 #1114 Painting? Painting? What painting? What do you thought?
01:08:15 #1115 The one you changed last night, you remember?
01:08:18 #1116 Oh, you mean the pigs? Yes.
01:08:20 #1117 What's the matter? You want him downstairs?
01:08:22 #1118 You want him upstairs? Come on, make up your mind.
01:08:25 #1119 I thank you for what you've done, but you've got to get that painting back before the police get here.
01:08:30 #1120 Elise? Come here. Wait, I'll give it to you. You put it back. Come on.
01:08:35 #1121 Where's the fix? Where's the picture?
01:08:43 #1122 Put him in here. Somebody take him. You take him.
01:08:46 #1123 Me? I know. The fish peddler. A, the fish peddler.
01:08:50 #1124 Did Mother invite a fish peddler here?
01:08:53 #1125 I don't know whether she invites her, but he's here.
01:08:55 #1126 Come on, we'll find them.
01:08:59 #1127 Good morning, Mrs. Wittenhouse.
01:09:01 #1128 Good morning, Mr. Denison, and how is Captain Spaulding this morning?
01:09:04 #1129 Oh, he had a very bad night. He didn't sleep a wink.
01:09:07 #1130 He went on horseback riding in the middle of the night.
01:09:09 #1131 I'm sorry. Yes, I know.
01:09:10 #1132 But he'd all been to the upset.
01:09:12 #1133 Good morning, Captain. Did you enjoy your ride?
01:09:16 #1134 What in the world are you looking for?
01:09:20 #1135 I lost my horse.
01:09:22 #1136 Oh!
01:09:23 #1137 Yes, he slipped right out from between me.
01:09:26 #1138 I can't understand it. I had my feet in the syrups, too.
01:09:29 #1139 I don't know how I got it. I didn't care about that, but I lost the bit you loaned me.
01:09:32 #1140 Never mind. I'll get you another bit.
01:09:34 #1141 Well, I'll be two bits, I owe you that.
01:09:37 #1142 Captain, I hope you weren't distressed by last night's unfortunate occurrence.
01:09:41 #1143 You mean that dinner you served?
01:09:42 #1144 No, the painting of a stolen.
01:09:44 #1145 Was there a painting stolen? I haven't seen a payment three weeks.
01:09:46 #1146 Jamison, as my secretary, why don't you inform me there was a painting stolen?
01:09:49 #1147 What do you think I engaged you for?
01:09:51 #1148 Well, Captain, I did not.
01:09:52 #1149 Well, you should have asked me. I didn't know it.
01:09:54 #1150 Well, I'm sorry.
01:09:55 #1151 You're sorry.
01:09:56 #1152 You're a contemptible coward.
01:09:58 #1153 I repeat, sir, you're a contemptible coward.
01:10:01 #1154 Oh, if I were a man, you'd resent that.
01:10:03 #1155 Please keep quiet, will you?
01:10:05 #1156 I can get along without you, you know.
01:10:07 #1157 I got along without your father, didn't I?
01:10:09 #1158 Yes, and your grandfather.
01:10:10 #1159 Yes, and your uncle.
01:10:12 #1160 Yes, and my uncle.
01:10:13 #1161 Captain!
01:10:14 #1162 I didn't come here to be exonerated.
01:10:15 #1163 A big problem, Mrs. Rittenhouse.
01:10:17 #1164 Oh, you do, eh?
01:10:18 #1165 But I'd like to see you crawl out of a rumble seat.
01:10:20 #1166 The police are here, madam.
01:10:25 #1167 Oh, the police. Have them come in.
01:10:27 #1168 Oh, so that's your game, is it? Well, you can't shut me up.
01:10:30 #1169 No, you can talk to my attorney. Jamison?
01:10:32 #1170 Yes, sir.
01:10:33 #1171 Take that out of my lawyers. I'll show you a thing or two or three.
01:10:37 #1172 Show you a thing or three.
01:10:39 #1173 Oh, Captain.
01:10:40 #1174 Send it for the police. Take that out of my lawyers.
01:10:42 #1175 Send it for the police, eh?
01:10:44 #1176 I say, take that out of my lawyers.
01:10:46 #1177 Well, I am taking it.
01:10:47 #1178 Well, read me what you have so far.
01:10:49 #1179 Honorable Charles ate your hunger dunga.
01:10:54 #1180 Care of Hungadunga, Hungadunga, Hungadunga, Hungadunga and McCormick.
01:10:59 #1181 Semicolon.
01:11:01 #1182 How do you spell Semicolon?
01:11:03 #1183 All right, make it a comma.
01:11:05 #1184 Honorable Charles H. Hungadunga, Hungadunga, Hungadunga, McCormick.
01:11:11 #1185 Gentlemen, question mark.
01:11:16 #1186 Do you want that in the letter?
01:11:18 #1187 No, put that in an envelope.
01:11:21 #1188 Now then.
01:11:23 #1189 In radios of the fifties,
01:11:24 #1190 Yours to hand and beg to rep.
01:11:28 #1191 Brackets.
01:11:29 #1192 We have gone over the ground carefully and we seem to believe,
01:11:33 #1193 i.e. to it, e.g. in lieu,
01:11:37 #1194 that despite all our precautionary measures which have been involved,
01:11:44 #1195 we seem to believe that it is hardly necessary for us to proceed
01:11:48 #1196 unless we receive an ipso facto that is not negligible at this moment,
01:11:53 #1197 Quotes, unquotes and quotes.
01:11:57 #1198 Hoping this finds you, I beg to remain.
01:11:59 #1199 Hoping this finds him where?
01:12:00 #1200 Well, let him worry about that.
01:12:02 #1201 Don't be so inquisitive, Jamison.
01:12:04 #1202 Sneak.
01:12:06 #1203 I say, hoping this finds you, I beg to remain
01:12:08 #1204 as of June 9th, cordially yours regards.
01:12:10 #1205 That's all, Jamison.
01:12:11 #1206 I'll show you where I get off,
01:12:13 #1207 sending for the police.
01:12:16 #1208 Now, read me the letter, Jamison.
01:12:18 #1209 Honorable Charles H. Hungadunga.
01:12:20 #1210 Hungadunga.
01:12:22 #1211 Hunga... hunga... hunga-dunga.
01:12:25 #1212 That's it, hunga-dunga.
01:12:26 #1213 You care of hunga-dunga, hunga-dunga, hunga-dunga and McCormick.
01:12:30 #1214 You've left out a hunga-dunga.
01:12:33 #1215 You left out the main one, too.
01:12:36 #1216 Thought you could slip one over on me, didn't you?
01:12:39 #1217 All right, leave it out and put in a windshield wiper instead.
01:12:43 #1218 I'll tell you what you do, Jamison. I'll tell you what.
01:12:45 #1219 Make it three windshield wipers and one hunga-dunga.
01:12:48 #1220 They won't all be there when the letter arrives anyhow.
01:12:51 #1221 And McCormick.
01:12:54 #1222 Gentlemen, question mark.
01:12:57 #1223 Put it on the pen ultimate, not on the diphthonic.
01:13:00 #1224 You want to brush up on your grade, Jamison.
01:13:02 #1225 Well, get a Greek and brush up on them.
01:13:04 #1226 Inray yours of the fifth inch.
01:13:06 #1227 I see.
01:13:07 #1228 Now, uh, you said a lot of things here
01:13:10 #1229 that I didn't think were important, so I just omitted them.
01:13:13 #1230 We?
01:13:14 #1231 Oh, you just omitted them, eh?
01:13:25 #1232 You just omitted the body of the letter, that's all.
01:13:28 #1233 That's all. You've just left out the body of the letter.
01:13:31 #1234 That's all. Yours not to reason why, Jamison.
01:13:34 #1235 You've left out the body of the letter.
01:13:36 #1236 All right, send it that way and tell them the body will follow.
01:13:39 #1237 Do you want the body in brackets?
01:13:44 #1238 No, it'll never get there in brackets. Put it in a box.
01:13:47 #1239 Put it in a box and mark it for a ghillie.
01:13:51 #1240 Mark it what?
01:13:53 #1241 Mark it for a ghillie. F-R-A-G.
01:13:57 #1242 Look it up, Jamison. It's in the dictionary.
01:14:00 #1243 Look under the table if you don't find it there.
01:14:05 #1244 Quotes on quotes and quotes.
01:14:07 #1245 There's three quotes?
01:14:08 #1246 Add another quote and make it a gallon.
01:14:10 #1247 How much is it a gallon, Jamison? Regard.
01:14:12 #1248 Regard. That's a fine letter, Jamison. That's an epic.
01:14:15 #1249 That's dandy. Now, I want you to make two carbon copies of that letter
01:14:18 #1250 and throw the original away.
01:14:19 #1251 And when you get through it, I throw the carbon copies away.
01:14:22 #1252 Just send a stamp. That's all. You may go, Jamison.
01:14:24 #1253 I may go, too.
01:14:25 #1254 Mrs. Rittenhouse? Yes.
01:14:27 #1255 I'm Inspector Hennessy from Headquarters.
01:14:29 #1256 How do you do, Inspector?
01:14:30 #1257 Let me introduce myself.
01:14:31 #1258 I'm Captain Scotton of Spaulding Yard.
01:14:33 #1259 No, I'm Captain Spaulding of Scotland Yard.
01:14:35 #1260 Please don't make the same mistake again.
01:14:37 #1261 I'm glad to know you, Captain.
01:14:38 #1262 Well, I should think you would be.
01:14:40 #1263 Now then, Inspector, I think between the two of us,
01:14:42 #1264 we can solve the mystery of the stolen painting,
01:14:43 #1265 especially if you go home.
01:14:45 #1266 Inspector, please don't be too hasty
01:14:47 #1267 about making an arrest.
01:14:49 #1268 I don't want my guests embarrassed.
01:14:51 #1269 Don't worry. We won't arrest anybody.
01:14:53 #1270 He's lucky if he can stay out of jail himself.
01:14:55 #1271 Mr. Jamison, would you mind taking the inspector
01:14:58 #1272 and showing them the scene of the crime.
01:15:00 #1273 Certainly, Mr. Bittenhouse.
01:15:02 #1274 Right this way, Inspector.
01:15:03 #1275 Come on, boys.
01:15:04 #1276 And Janice, count the spoons.
01:15:13 #1277 Captain, I didn't know you'd be any detective, too.
01:15:16 #1278 There's a whole lot of things you don't know.
01:15:18 #1279 I suppose that's so.
01:15:19 #1280 You know Don Wallet so.
01:15:21 #1281 Where were you on the night of June 5th, 1774?
01:15:24 #1282 I'm afraid I don't know.
01:15:25 #1283 You bet you don't know. Where was I?
01:15:27 #1284 I don't know.
01:15:28 #1285 Well, I don't know either.
01:15:29 #1286 And if I did know, I wouldn't tell you.
01:15:31 #1287 Put that in your pipe and smoke it.
01:15:32 #1288 that in your pipe and smoking. Take a number from one to ten. All right. All right.
01:15:37 #1289 What's the number? Seven. That's right. Seven is right. I could have done it with
01:15:41 #1290 one hand if I wanted. This is no mystery. I could solve this in five minutes if I
01:15:44 #1291 wanted to worry. Captain, I don't want you to worry. I don't want anything to
01:15:49 #1292 interfere with your weekend. Nothing ever interferes with my weekend and I'll
01:15:53 #1293 thank you not to get placed in a misreaden house. Oh Captain. Where's my secretary?
01:15:55 #1294 Where's my secretary? No. Captain, you just understood me. I'm a more
01:16:01 #1295 I've never heard of that.
01:16:03 #1296 I wish I was back in the jungle where men are monkeys.
01:16:06 #1297 Captain, I'm so sorry.
01:16:08 #1298 No, Captain.
01:16:10 #1299 Good morning, Mrs. Wittenhauer.
01:16:14 #1300 Good morning.
01:16:15 #1301 Perfectly charming party.
01:16:17 #1302 I wouldn't have missed it for the world.
01:16:19 #1303 It's just full of surprises.
01:16:21 #1304 So glad you're enjoying yourself.
01:16:26 #1305 Oh, hives, hives.
01:16:29 #1306 Good morning. Some breakfast?
01:16:31 #1307 Breakfast, nothing. Did you get the painting?
01:16:33 #1308 No, I did not. I watched all night, but the professor did not sleep in his room. No?
01:16:38 #1309 Strange. Very strange.
01:16:40 #1310 Could Heaven's eyes? But what will we do?
01:16:42 #1311 I don't know. Until we see the professor.
01:16:44 #1312 You keep an eye on him till I get back with the bottle.
01:17:23 #1313 Don't worry. He'll not get away from me this time.
01:17:26 #1314 Did you get it? Yes, madam.
01:17:39 #1315 Good. Now I'll go ahead and engage him in conversation.
01:17:41 #1316 You trail behind. And when the proper time comes, see that he gets it.
01:17:46 #1317 Very good, madam.
01:17:48 #1318 I've been looking all over for you. Where have you been?
01:17:56 #1319 What is the matter with this?
01:17:58 #1320 What have you got there, the morning papers?
01:18:00 #1321 No, that isn't the one I want.
01:18:02 #1322 Let me see one of the others.
01:18:04 #1323 That still isn't the one I want.
01:18:08 #1324 Yes, I will.
01:18:17 #1325 Mr. Burst, come on up here and sit down.
01:18:19 #1326 Don't you like me?
01:18:27 #1327 You don't.
01:18:29 #1328 Well, I like you.
01:18:31 #1329 I like little boys like you.
01:18:33 #1330 By the way, how old are you?
01:18:36 #1331 Five years old.
01:18:39 #1332 Why, you're just a baby, aren't you?
01:18:41 #1333 Oh, isn't that nice?
01:18:50 #1334 I like that.
01:18:52 #1335 No, no, no.
01:18:54 #1336 Now all joking aside, isn't there someone you do like?
01:18:59 #1337 Isn't there someone you love?
01:19:01 #1338 Now think again, isn't there someone you really and truly love?
01:19:08 #1339 Is there?
01:19:10 #1340 Tell me who.
01:19:19 #1341 Well, that's a horse.
01:19:20 #1342 You love a horse.
01:19:21 #1343 Oh, look at him. Come on. He's out.
01:19:38 #1344 Let us get out.
01:20:20 #1345 Well, I've been looking all over for you.
01:20:21 #1346 I just found a painting out on the terrace.
01:20:23 #1347 Was it the bow guard? No. Oh, yours?
01:20:25 #1348 Shh.
01:20:29 #1349 Well, if it's not yours and it's not the bow guard, who's is it?
01:20:32 #1350 Where did it come from?
01:20:33 #1351 Well, don't you see, someone else came along
01:20:35 #1352 and substituted it for mine, thinking they were getting
01:20:38 #1353 away with the original bow guard.
01:20:39 #1354 Somebody swiped my ski, may.
01:20:42 #1355 Say, then Chattano never saw your painting after all.
01:20:46 #1356 No.
01:20:46 #1357 For all I know, you may still be a great artist.
01:20:50 #1358 Where is this picture?
01:20:51 #1359 It's up in my room.
01:20:52 #1360 Well, you go get it, and I'll get Captain Sporlin.
01:20:55 #1361 He'll get to the bottom of this.
01:20:57 #1362 And then John found the third painting.
01:21:11 #1363 Well, that's very interesting.
01:21:12 #1364 Well, fairly interesting.
01:21:14 #1365 But we just got to keep a sharp look out, that's all.
01:21:16 #1366 Oh, I've got to find it.
01:21:17 #1367 Our mother's out $100,000.
01:21:19 #1368 Now, don't worry.
01:21:20 #1369 Let me work in this case for 24 hours,
01:21:21 #1370 and then we'll call in somebody else.
01:21:23 #1371 You think it's a mystery now?
01:21:24 #1372 We'll see you tomorrow. Remember the Charlie Ross disappearance?
01:21:27 #1373 I worked in that case for 24 hours and they never did find him.
01:21:30 #1374 They couldn't find me for five years.
01:21:32 #1375 That's me, Captain Yard of Scotland's balling.
01:21:34 #1376 I always get my women for paintings.
01:21:35 #1377 Arabella, Arabella, can you imagine what's happened?
01:21:38 #1378 You know that painting I found?
01:21:39 #1379 Well, it's been stolen from my room. John!
01:21:41 #1380 There you are. I haven't done the case five minutes.
01:21:43 #1381 And there's another painting gone.
01:21:44 #1382 I bet it's not even five minutes. I bet it's not over three.
01:21:48 #1383 Now they've got my watch. This is going too far.
01:21:51 #1384 It wasn't going, and now it's gone.
01:21:53 #1385 That's the door to my room is locked too.
01:21:54 #1386 Well how could they get in? Who could it have been?
01:21:57 #1387 Wait a minute, I think I've got a clue.
01:21:59 #1388 No, it's a hair. A red hair.
01:22:01 #1389 The professor? Oh no, no, it couldn't be.
01:22:05 #1390 Well, he's been picked out this month
01:22:07 #1391 by the Crook of the Month Club. Anyhow, we'll investigate it.
01:22:13 #1392 You know conductor Hennessy, don't you?
01:22:15 #1393 Inspector.
01:22:16 #1394 Inspector yourself. Now listen, you know that little red
01:22:18 #1395 head of fellow, the professor?
01:22:19 #1396 Yes.
01:22:20 #1397 Well get that gang of flagpole citizens of yours
01:22:22 #1398 and see if you can find them.
01:22:23 #1399 All right, Captain. Come on boys.
01:22:27 #1400 I'll get to the bottom of this.
01:22:29 #1401 You'll see how quickly these boys will understand.
01:22:31 #1402 Hey, that's right. This is it.
01:22:39 #1403 Yeah, this is it. But which one is it?
01:22:41 #1404 That one that was just taken from my room.
01:22:44 #1405 Oh, we've got that back. Maybe I got my watch back.
01:22:46 #1406 Now, the farm is gone.
01:22:48 #1407 Well, I still got the pocket.
01:22:51 #1408 Anything I retain now is velvet.
01:22:53 #1409 Except the coat. That's Prince Albert.
01:22:55 #1410 Well, all the jokes can't be good.
01:22:57 #1411 You've got to expect that once in a while.
01:22:59 #1412 Say, if we could find the fellow that painted this picture,
01:23:01 #1413 well, we'd have a pretty good clue.
01:23:03 #1414 What did you say?
01:23:04 #1415 I said if we could find the fellow that painted this picture, we'd have a pretty good clue.
01:23:08 #1416 You just said that.
01:23:09 #1417 What a dull conversation it was you turned out to be.
01:23:13 #1418 Let me see that a minute, will you?
01:23:16 #1419 Say, this is signed Bogard.
01:23:17 #1420 There's the criminal Bogard.
01:23:19 #1421 No, Bogard is dead!
01:23:21 #1422 Bogard is dead?
01:23:22 #1423 Then it's murder!
01:23:23 #1424 Now we've got something.
01:23:24 #1425 What do you got, Cap?
01:23:25 #1426 I got Jackson Aces.
01:23:26 #1427 What do you got?
01:23:27 #1428 That's good. I was bluffing.
01:23:28 #1429 Look at this, Revelli.
01:23:29 #1430 Isn't there something that strikes you very funny about this picture?
01:23:32 #1431 Hahaha...
01:23:34 #1432 Oh, come come. It isn't as funny as all that.
01:23:37 #1433 Did you ever see a tree like that?
01:23:39 #1434 Tree! That's a spinach.
01:23:41 #1435 That can't be spinach. Where's the egg?
01:23:44 #1436 Well, it could be spinach. Look all the sand laying around there.
01:23:47 #1437 You mean it's an old spinach custom?
01:23:48 #1438 No, it's not that revealing. Anything but that.
01:23:50 #1439 No. Gap, that's all right. It's my mistake.
01:23:52 #1440 You know what that is? That's cold slaw. Cold slaw?
01:23:55 #1441 Yeah. It's a cold slaw.
01:23:56 #1442 Did you ever see a cold slaw like that?
01:23:58 #1443 Sure. Look at this one.
01:24:00 #1444 I don't want any lip now.
01:24:01 #1445 Did you ever see anything like that?
01:24:05 #1446 You know what this is?
01:24:06 #1447 This is a left-handed painting.
01:24:07 #1448 Look, there's a signature.
01:24:09 #1449 That's right. It's in the right-hand corner.
01:24:10 #1450 That's right. This is either a left-handed painting
01:24:12 #1451 or a vegetable dinner.
01:24:13 #1452 Now, if we can find the left-handed person that painted this,
01:24:16 #1453 we'll have the trial of Mary Dougum with sound.
01:24:18 #1454 Well, I saw that. Goodbye.
01:24:19 #1455 Now, uh, you wait here. I'm gonna need you.
01:24:21 #1456 Now, look, we mustn't lose this.
01:24:23 #1457 This is evidence.
01:24:24 #1458 Now, take it to your room and leave the door open this time.
01:24:26 #1459 We'll try that.
01:24:27 #1460 And, uh, not to wait about this to anybody, not even to me.
01:24:34 #1461 We've got to find the left-handed painting.
01:24:35 #1462 Yes, you're left-handed.
01:24:36 #1463 Now, in a case like this, the place to do is to find the motive.
01:24:39 #1464 You've got to get a motive.
01:24:40 #1465 Now, what could have been the motive of the guys that swiped the Bogard?
01:24:44 #1466 I got it.
01:24:45 #1467 Robert.
01:24:46 #1468 Would you mind going out and crossing the boulevard when the lights are against you?
01:24:50 #1469 See, Cap, sit down.
01:24:52 #1470 You understand I got an idea how to find this painting.
01:24:55 #1471 In a case like this, that's a so mysterious, you've got to get at the clues.
01:24:59 #1472 You've got to use it to shell the alcohol as a method.
01:25:01 #1473 Now you go bottom like this.
01:25:02 #1474 You say to yourself, what happened?
01:25:04 #1475 And the answer comes back, something was stolen.
01:25:07 #1476 Then you say to yourself, what was stolen?
01:25:10 #1477 And the answer comes back, a painting.
01:25:13 #1478 What are you, a ventriloquist?
01:25:17 #1479 Now you say to yourself, where was this painting stolen?
01:25:21 #1480 And the answer comes back in this house.
01:25:24 #1481 Now, so far I'm right, eh?
01:25:26 #1482 Well, it's pretty hard to be wrong if you keep answering yourself all the time.
01:25:30 #1483 Now you go a little further and you say to yourself,
01:25:32 #1484 who stole the painting?
01:25:34 #1485 This is a very, very important question, Captain.
01:25:36 #1486 You get to the answer, you got to the solution
01:25:38 #1487 to the whole thing.
01:25:39 #1488 Especially if you find the picture.
01:25:41 #1489 Now you take all of the clues.
01:25:43 #1490 You put them together. What do you got, eh?
01:25:45 #1491 A bread pudding.
01:25:46 #1492 No. Here's what we got.
01:25:48 #1493 Something was stolen. Stolen where? Into this house.
01:25:50 #1494 Stolen by who? Somebody in the house.
01:25:52 #1495 Now to find the painting, all you got to do
01:25:54 #1496 is to go to everybody in the house
01:25:56 #1497 and ask them if they took it.
01:25:57 #1498 You know, I could rent you out as a decoy
01:25:59 #1499 Decoy for duck hunters
01:26:02 #1500 You say you're going to go to everybody in the house and ask them if they took the painting
01:26:05 #1501 Suppose nobody in the house took the painting go to the house next door. That's great. Suppose there isn't any house next door
01:26:12 #1502 Well, then of course we got a bill one
01:26:15 #1503 Well now you're talking what kind of a house you think we ought to put up
01:26:19 #1504 Well, I tell you cap you see my idea of a house is something nice and a small and comfortable
01:26:24 #1505 That's the way I feel about it
01:26:26 #1506 I don't want anything elaborate. Just a little place that I can call home and tell the wife I won't be there for dinner.
01:26:31 #1507 I see. You just want a telephone booth.
01:26:33 #1508 No. In that case, I'll get in touch with Chick Sales.
01:26:37 #1509 Now what do you say, uh... What do you say, Cap, we build right about here?
01:26:40 #1510 Here?
01:26:41 #1511 Here. Right about here.
01:26:42 #1512 Oh, uh... I'd like something over here if I could get it.
01:26:45 #1513 I don't like Junior crossing the tracks on his way to the reform school.
01:26:48 #1514 I don't like Junior at all as a matter of fact.
01:26:50 #1515 All right, all right. We got something over there.
01:26:53 #1516 and believe me, that's a convenient door.
01:26:55 #1517 That's a very convenient.
01:26:56 #1518 Well, look, all you gotta do is open the door,
01:26:59 #1519 step outside, and there you are.
01:27:01 #1520 There you are? Yeah.
01:27:02 #1521 There you are, where? Outside.
01:27:05 #1522 Well, suppose you want to get back in again.
01:27:07 #1523 You had no right to go out.
01:27:08 #1524 Well, don't do anything until I hear from you, will ya?
01:27:12 #1525 Say, maybe that's the painting down in the cellar.
01:27:14 #1526 That's an old cellar. That's the roof.
01:27:16 #1527 That's the roof down there?
01:27:17 #1528 Yeah, you see, we keep it at the roof in the basement,
01:27:19 #1529 or so when the rain comes, the chimney don't get wet.
01:27:23 #1530 Well, I'm going out and get X-rayed.
01:27:25 #1531 I'll be back in a little while.
01:27:26 #1532 I may be wonderful, but I think you're wrong, Rebelly.
01:27:29 #1533 Hey, wait. Don't get him excited. Come here.
01:27:32 #1534 Now, look. Here's the rooms.
01:27:33 #1535 Those are the rooms?
01:27:34 #1536 Yeah, right. There's the rooms.
01:27:35 #1537 This is your room. This is my room.
01:27:38 #1538 And this is the maid's room.
01:27:40 #1539 Oh, I'd have to go through your room?
01:27:42 #1540 Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha.
01:27:45 #1541 Ah, that's all right. I won't be in it.
01:27:48 #1542 Say, Rebelly, you, uh...
01:27:49 #1543 You couldn't put the maid in your room, huh?
01:27:51 #1544 What makes you think I couldn't?
01:27:53 #1545 Well, there's going to be a lot of traffic in there.
01:27:55 #1546 I can see that.
01:27:56 #1547 Well, what do you say?
01:27:58 #1548 Are you ready to sign the lease?
01:28:00 #1549 Well, it's a little premature.
01:28:02 #1550 I'd like to discuss it with my husband.
01:28:03 #1551 Could you come back this evening when he's home?
01:28:05 #1552 Hey, you're married?
01:28:06 #1553 Well, I've got a girl as big as you are.
01:28:08 #1554 All right, get me one.
01:28:10 #1555 Don't get vulgar, Rebelly.
01:28:12 #1556 Rebelly? How about the painting?
01:28:14 #1557 Oh, we take care of that all right.
01:28:16 #1558 Now, I tell you what my idea is.
01:28:17 #1559 I think the kitchen should be white,
01:28:19 #1560 Inside the green, inside a series with the maroon.
01:28:21 #1561 The painting, I say. How about the painting, Revelli?
01:28:23 #1562 All right, what do you think I talk?
01:28:24 #1563 That's a painting, the kitchen, white, outside the green, inside a series.
01:28:27 #1564 The painting, the painting that was stolen.
01:28:29 #1565 Stolen?
01:28:30 #1566 Don't you remember Mrs. Rittenhouse lost a valuable Bogart oil painting with a hundred thousand dollars?
01:28:34 #1567 Don't you remember that?
01:28:36 #1568 No, I'm a stranger, Arnie. I don't remember that.
01:28:39 #1569 Well, what do you think I am? One of the early settlers?
01:28:41 #1570 Revelli, don't you remember Mrs. Bogart lost a valuable Rittenhouse oil painting with a hundred thousand dollars?
01:28:47 #1571 Don't you remember that?
01:28:49 #1572 No, but I've seen you someplace before.
01:28:52 #1573 Well, I'm where I was, but I'll stay out of there in the future.
01:28:57 #1574 Hey, Cap, they've come to me like a flash.
01:29:00 #1575 This painting wasn't stolen.
01:29:02 #1576 Ha! You know what happened?
01:29:03 #1577 This painting cap is a disappear.
01:29:05 #1578 And yes, it disappear.
01:29:07 #1579 And you know what make it disappear?
01:29:08 #1580 You'll never guess, Cap.
01:29:10 #1581 What do you think I make a dis-painting disappear?
01:29:11 #1582 Huh? Mortes! Mortes seeded.
01:29:14 #1583 Left-handed morts.
01:29:17 #1584 Go away. Go away.
01:29:21 #1585 Go away, I'll be all right in a minute.
01:29:23 #1586 Left handed morts ate the painting, eh?
01:29:25 #1587 Yeah, that's my own solution.
01:29:27 #1588 I wish you were in it.
01:29:29 #1589 Left handed morts ate the painting.
01:29:32 #1590 You know, I'd buy you a parachute if I thought I wouldn't open.
01:29:35 #1591 Hey, I got parachutes.
01:29:40 #1592 That's crazy.
01:29:41 #1593 Come on, let's get down and get the reward.
01:29:42 #1594 We solved it. You solved it. The credit is all yours.
01:29:45 #1595 The painting was eaten by a left handed morts.
01:29:47 #1596 Hey, I know we did a good day's work.
01:29:49 #1597 How do you feel, tired?
01:29:50 #1598 Well, it's a lot.
01:29:51 #1599 Maybe you ought to lie down for a couple of years, eh?
01:29:52 #1600 Why don't you just lie down until Rigor Mordes sets in?
01:29:54 #1601 It's not the same.
01:29:55 #1602 I'll show you how we get the painting.
01:29:57 #1603 We'll go to court and we'll get out a rid of habeas corpus.
01:30:00 #1604 You're going to get rid of what?
01:30:02 #1605 Oh, I should never have started that way. I can see that.
01:30:05 #1606 I say we'll go to court and we'll get out a rid of habeas corpus.
01:30:09 #1607 Yes, a corpus. A corpus.
01:30:11 #1608 Didn't you ever see a habeas corpus?
01:30:13 #1609 No, but I see habeas Irish rose.
01:30:15 #1610 Ah!
01:30:16 #1611 Hey, you're the crazy one.
01:30:17 #1612 Good morning. Good morning.
01:30:22 #1613 I'm not going to go.
01:30:24 #1614 Mr. Chandler, why don't you go down to the beach with the others?
01:30:28 #1615 I'm sure you'd feel better.
01:30:29 #1616 If I had my bogar, I'm sure I would feel better.
01:30:32 #1617 Oh, but we're doing everything we can.
01:30:35 #1618 Mrs. Rittenhouse.
01:30:36 #1619 I have it.
01:30:37 #1620 The bogar. Wonderful.
01:30:39 #1621 My bogar, I.
01:30:40 #1622 Wait.
01:30:41 #1623 This is not my bogar.
01:30:42 #1624 This is a thank you mutation.
01:30:43 #1625 Where did you find it?
01:30:44 #1626 Why, Mr.
01:30:45 #1627 Mr. Parker's room, madam.
01:30:47 #1628 Parker.
01:30:49 #1629 One thing is certain.
01:30:50 #1630 The man who made that stole the Bogard.
01:30:52 #1631 Hi, it's fine, Mr. Parker.
01:30:54 #1632 I'm asking you to come here.
01:30:55 #1633 Certainly, madam. Wait a minute.
01:30:56 #1634 My men will bring them in.
01:30:57 #1635 Walk and get Mr. Parker. I'll get them. What's the matter with us?
01:31:00 #1636 Well, look at here.
01:31:02 #1637 You only to look at it once to see what it is. It is a rain.
01:31:04 #1638 Nothing.
01:31:05 #1639 I'm afraid you're the only one who can explain.
01:31:37 #1640 I'd be only too glad to if I can.
01:31:38 #1641 Nothing mysterious about it.
01:31:40 #1642 We found this new room.
01:31:41 #1643 Now what have you done with the original Bogard?
01:31:43 #1644 Come clean.
01:31:44 #1645 Come on out with it.
01:31:45 #1646 Really, I think it would be wild.
01:31:46 #1647 Well, I have nothing to say except that I don't know
01:31:48 #1648 where the book guard is. Well how is it we found this in your room? Come on, you better
01:31:52 #1649 come with me. You can't take him.
01:31:54 #1650 You're saying one song for my old Kentucky home.
01:32:01 #1651 Oh, and...
01:32:18 #1652 This program is coming to you from the House of David. He's either got that suit on upside
01:32:29 #1653 down or there is no law of gravity. Einstein or no...
01:32:32 #1654 What?
01:32:33 #1655 Oh, Captain, what shall I do? They're going to arrest John.
01:32:38 #1656 Who's going to arrest John?
01:32:39 #1657 I am, Captain.
01:32:40 #1658 Let me tell you something. The first thing they teach you at Scotland Yard
01:32:42 #1659 is never to arrest an innocent man.
01:32:44 #1660 But he's not innocent. I'll have to arrest him just the same.
01:32:47 #1661 By all means, though, nobody will be safe here.
01:32:50 #1662 You can't arrest him. I stole it. Attabella!
01:32:53 #1663 Don't listen to her, officer. I did it.
01:32:54 #1664 They're both lying. I did it. I did it with my little hatchet.
01:32:57 #1665 Eh, he's a crazy, he's a crazy. I couldn't have foresighted it.
01:33:00 #1666 Maybe nobody stole the painting. Maybe there was no painting.
01:33:03 #1667 That's right. Maybe there was no painting. I saw it.
01:33:06 #1668 Cut out all the talk. Who stole the painting?
01:33:08 #1669 I did.
01:33:09 #1670 Good gracious.
01:33:12 #1671 What you? You took the picture? Where is it?
01:33:16 #1672 Oh, that's a horse.
01:33:21 #1673 The bogard. That is my bogard.
01:33:23 #1674 No, that isn't your bogard.
01:33:26 #1675 Don't be ridiculous. I paid $100,000 for this painting.
01:33:29 #1676 I know what I bought.
01:33:30 #1677 Look at the signature.
01:33:32 #1678 John Parker.
01:33:34 #1679 Somebody changed it.
01:33:42 #1680 That is my bogard.
01:33:44 #1681 That is the bogard, I tell you.
01:33:46 #1682 There it is.
01:33:47 #1683 Ah, but that one. That has the color, the depth, the soul of the bogey.
01:33:52 #1684 Only a master could have produced a painting like that.
01:33:55 #1685 Oh, John!
01:33:57 #1686 You mean to tell me that you painted that?
01:33:58 #1687 Yes, sir.
01:33:59 #1688 Boy, young man, you're a genius.
01:34:01 #1689 You're a genius. I commissioned you to paint the portrait of me immediately.
01:34:05 #1690 Well, you'd better wait until tomorrow. I'm going to be busy all day.
01:34:08 #1691 Yes.
01:34:12 #1692 You better come with me, young fellow.
01:34:14 #1693 Don't take him away, officer. He'll return the paintings.
01:34:18 #1694 Pardon me, my name is Spawling. I've always wanted to meet you.
01:34:21 #1695 All right. I'll let him go this time.
01:34:24 #1696 But I want to give you some advice.
01:34:25 #1697 You're running around with the wrong kind of people.
01:34:28 #1698 Do you want to be a crook?
01:34:32 #1699 Or why don't you go home?
01:34:33 #1700 He's got no home.
01:34:34 #1701 Go home for a few nights and stay home.
01:34:37 #1702 Don't you know your poor old mother sits there?
01:34:46 #1703 Sits there night after... night after night.
01:34:52 #1704 Waiting to hear your steps on the stairs.
01:34:54 #1705 And I can see a little light burning in the window.
01:34:59 #1706 No, you can't. The gas company turned it off.
01:35:02 #1707 Now what I'm telling you is for your own good.
01:35:05 #1708 And if you listen to me, you can't go wrong.
01:35:11 #1709 This may go on for years.
01:35:18 #1710 Now there's just one thing.
01:35:20 #1711 I can't understand why delaying that coffee pot.
01:35:27 #1712 Where's the cream?
01:35:29 #1713 Well, you certainly surprised me.
01:35:32 #1714 Me too. I thought he had more than that.
01:35:34 #1715 I thought he had more than that.
01:35:35 #1716 There's no use giving you any advice.
01:35:38 #1717 Captain, this time I'm afraid I'll have to take him.
01:35:40 #1718 Come on, here. Come on.
01:35:42 #1719 Come on.
01:35:43 #1720 Oh, what are you doing?
01:35:44 #1721 Oh, actually, I can't take my phone.
01:35:46 #1722 You want to have a happy birthday?
01:35:50 #1723 Hey, what's the idea?
01:35:51 #1724 I'm going to take a letter to my lawyer.
01:35:53 #1725 No, no, no.
01:35:54 #1726 Oh, no, no.
01:35:55 #1727 Not to anybody.
01:35:56 #1728 Oh, oh, the thing that I've got to go.
01:35:58 #1729 So young.
01:36:07 #1730 Come on now.
01:36:08 #1731 Let's get out of here before they all the way go.
01:36:10 #1732 Hurry up. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on.