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Transcript: My Dear Secretary

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00:00:00 #1 Where's the Waterbury lecture, do you know?

00:01:40 #2 A jewel in Waterbury?

00:01:41 #3 Yes, I am.

00:01:42 #4 How do you do?

00:01:43 #5 Follow me.

00:01:44 #6 Where are you taking us?

00:01:47 #7 Roomie.

00:01:48 #8 Are you a student or a teacher?

00:01:50 #9 I'm a student.

00:01:51 #10 Oh, advanced?

00:01:52 #11 Beginner.

00:01:53 #12 What do I look like?

00:01:54 #13 Well, you look very advanced to me.

00:01:57 #14 Oh, Mr. Waterbury, goody.

00:02:01 #15 How are you doing, Mr. Gilbride?

00:02:03 #16 You're right on time.

00:02:04 #17 We almost didn't get here.

00:02:05 #18 I was doing his laundry and we had to wait for it to dry.

00:02:07 #19 His underwear is still wet.

00:02:09 #20 I brought a friend Mr. Ronnie Hastings.

00:02:11 #21 Oh, how do you do, Mr. Hastings?

00:02:13 #22 Hey, let me get you a chair.

00:02:15 #23 No, no, no, never mind. I'll sit in the bleachers.

00:02:18 #24 You going to be a writer, too?

00:02:33 #25 I hope to be someday.

00:02:35 #26 Sure should help you a great deal.

00:02:39 #27 He's a great writer, isn't he?

00:02:41 #28 Of course, he gets most of his ideas from me.

00:02:46 #29 Excuse me.

00:02:48 #30 You're sitting in my seat.

00:02:50 #31 Oh, I'm terribly sorry.

00:02:52 #32 Hello, Mr. Scott.

00:02:55 #33 Uh, anybody sitting here?

00:02:57 #34 Yes, Clarence Henderson.

00:02:59 #35 But he's out sick tonight.

00:03:02 #36 Well, then why did you make me move?

00:03:04 #37 Oh, Clarence and I don't speak.

00:03:06 #38 Attention, class.

00:03:10 #39 As I promised you, our guest speaker tonight

00:03:14 #40 will be none other than Owen Waterbury,

00:03:18 #41 author of the new bestseller, Last Year's Love.

00:03:22 #42 Oh, louder, louder. That's enough.

00:03:31 #43 I understand that most of your whole life

00:03:35 #44 sought the job during the day.

00:03:37 #45 And yet you've been studying the technique

00:03:39 #46 of writing in the evening.

00:03:43 #47 Now you're ready to take your pen in hand

00:03:45 #48 and go out and conquer the world.

00:03:48 #49 You know, I'm hardly the person

00:03:50 #50 to tell you how to write because I don't follow any rules.

00:03:53 #51 Today, the writer is asked to keep

00:03:56 #52 one eye on the best-seller list,

00:03:58 #53 the other on art.

00:04:00 #54 That's divided loyalty,

00:04:02 #55 and that makes for dishonesty.

00:04:04 #56 I must confess, I've been guilty of this dishonesty too.

00:04:08 #57 But now that I've made my position secure,

00:04:11 #58 I'm going to try to write a really good book.

00:04:14 #59 No more bestsellers, but something that I hope will be a piece of great writing.

00:04:19 #60 You know, good writing, fine writing, is here.

00:04:24 #61 And here. The dictionary is filled with all the words you need,

00:04:28 #62 but unless the mind and the heart find those words for you,

00:04:32 #63 You better leave them in the dictionary.

00:04:34 #64 He's so brilliant.

00:04:36 #65 Because a writer, fundamentally, must believe in himself.

00:04:42 #66 That's half the battle.

00:04:48 #67 I'd like to interrupt my little talk for a moment to say that...

00:04:53 #68 I'm going to be in a position to help somebody here in this class.

00:04:57 #69 Beginning tomorrow, I'm going to need a secretary.

00:05:04 #70 I've already placed the request with the University Placement Bureau,

00:05:09 #71 And a man or woman, whoever qualifies, will get the job.

00:05:12 #72 That's very nice of you, Mr. Waterbury.

00:05:14 #73 Well, it's not a big job, but the surroundings will be wholesome.

00:05:18 #74 And you'll be able to serve your apprenticeship under someone who's already established.

00:05:23 #75 Well, so much for that.

00:05:25 #76 I remember when I wrote my first novel, took a lot of work,

00:05:30 #77 I starved, lived in a little back room,

00:05:34 #78 all the while consoling myself that I was going to be another person.

00:05:38 #79 So you're really going to work for Owen Waterbury?

00:05:40 #80 Well, I was offered the job by his personnel manager.

00:05:44 #81 I've heard a lot of weird stories about Owen Waterbury.

00:05:47 #82 Oh, you'll hear weird stories about any famous person.

00:05:50 #83 By last night, his talk was actually inspiring.

00:05:53 #84 Steve, do you realize you've been here five years?

00:05:56 #85 Well, isn't that a little too long for anyone with my ambition?

00:06:01 #86 Where does Mr. Waterbury do his work?

00:06:04 #87 Well, his personnel manager said in his apartment.

00:06:07 #88 Well, you can't expect a writer to work in an office, Mr. Harris.

00:06:10 #89 I want to write, and I think he can show me how.

00:06:14 #90 Who knows? After a year with Ima,

00:06:17 #91 I might even be autographing copies of my own book in one of your bookstores.

00:06:22 #92 By taking a course in Owen Waterbury.

00:06:24 #93 And getting paid for it at the same time.

00:06:27 #94 I'm going to miss you, Steve.

00:06:28 #95 Oh, no, you won't. After a week, you won't even know I've gone.

00:06:32 #96 Not true, but good luck anyway.

00:06:35 #97 Well, I could make a big speech, but I think you know how I feel about everything

00:06:42 #98 You've been wonderful to me. I understand Steve

00:06:51 #99 Yeah, call me sometime will you we'd like to know how you're getting on

00:06:56 #100 I'll call you tonight after I get the job

00:07:15 #101 Well, you can back up can't you

00:07:17 #102 Never mind bill. Just say to you run a few drop there smart guy

00:07:23 #103 I'll take it up there for you, man.

00:07:25 #104 Sure.

00:07:26 #105 Anything drives a care piece, babe.

00:07:29 #106 A part of free heat.

00:07:33 #107 Thank you, sir.

00:07:34 #108 I'll just remember, Bill.

00:07:35 #109 If he says one word that's out of line, just one word,

00:07:37 #110 I want you to bop him right on the job.

00:07:38 #111 Then I'll take my license away.

00:07:40 #112 You're not protecting a lady.

00:07:41 #113 We're coming in and around, in and around.

00:07:43 #114 You know, I hit pretty hard the harder the better.

00:07:47 #115 Is he a big guy?

00:07:51 #116 Six feet of bluff.

00:07:53 #117 I'll cut him down.

00:07:54 #118 I didn't get this nose for nothing.

00:07:57 #119 Are you sure he can't fight?

00:08:02 #120 He's a writer.

00:08:04 #121 Writer?

00:08:06 #122 Now, remember, if he just so much as opens his mouth.

00:08:09 #123 Don't worry. I'll shut it up.

00:08:10 #124 I got a bigger mouth than he's got.

00:08:13 #125 I've come for my things.

00:08:15 #126 And what's the objection?

00:08:18 #127 Evidently, he has none.

00:08:20 #128 Follow me, Bill.

00:08:24 #129 Now then, I want you to take all the things out of that drawer

00:08:27 #130 and put them into that bag.

00:08:28 #131 Yes, ma'am.

00:08:30 #132 No, no, no, not the draw. Just the thing.

00:08:35 #133 Oh, come in. Come in. Come right in. That's right.

00:08:44 #134 That's Mr. Waterbury's former secretary. She quit this morning.

00:08:48 #135 Won't you sit down?

00:08:50 #136 This is my mink.

00:08:52 #137 And how?

00:08:55 #138 Waterbury gave that to her as a Christmas bonus.

00:09:01 #139 My typewriter.

00:09:03 #140 Well, that was sort of a New Year's bonus.

00:09:06 #141 My ojodwé.

00:09:11 #142 She brought her own ojodwé.

00:09:15 #143 My pot.

00:09:20 #144 She cooked once in a while.

00:09:23 #145 My bourbon.

00:09:24 #146 She drank a little.

00:09:26 #147 My cigarette box.

00:09:28 #148 She smoked too.

00:09:29 #149 My lipstick.

00:09:31 #150 Shall we adjourn to the library?

00:09:34 #151 Your frankfritters.

00:09:36 #152 Goodbye, Mr. Waterbury.

00:09:42 #153 Good thing you didn't open your mouth.

00:09:45 #154 Thank you.

00:09:46 #155 Come along, Bill.

00:09:47 #156 Don't bother with your inferior.

00:09:49 #157 And now, Miss, what can I do for you?

00:09:56 #158 This, uh, this is your new secretary.

00:09:59 #159 Oh, yes, you're from the Kilbride School.

00:10:01 #160 Yes, I am.

00:10:02 #161 Say, look at that.

00:10:04 #162 She knocked over a bottle of ink all over the carpet,

00:10:06 #163 and it's going to be hard to get out, too.

00:10:08 #164 Well, would you try cleaning it up, please, Mary?

00:10:10 #165 Not me.

00:10:11 #166 The landlady says I'm not to clean up any more messes.

00:10:14 #167 Just do my regular work and get out of here.

00:10:17 #168 Excuse me.

00:10:18 #169 Would you like some help?

00:10:19 #170 Oh, thank you very much.

00:10:20 #171 Say, you're going to work out fine.

00:10:22 #172 Here, Ronnie.

00:10:23 #173 I'm an expert at this sort of thing.

00:10:25 #174 He sure is.

00:10:26 #175 He cleans up about six of them a month.

00:10:27 #176 I'll need a cloth and some rug shampoo.

00:10:29 #177 This is the stuff you've been using lately.

00:10:31 #178 Kids, this is a woman's job.

00:10:33 #179 It was a woman who did it.

00:10:34 #180 It was an accident.

00:10:35 #181 You better not let the landlady see that.

00:10:37 #182 She'll add $100 for damage just to your rent.

00:10:39 #183 That's more than last month.

00:10:41 #184 I've got something on my dress.

00:10:43 #185 Oh, look.

00:10:44 #186 Why don't you work on the rug and I'll work on your dress?

00:10:46 #187 on your dress why don't you two work on the rug and I'll work on her dress I'll work

00:10:51 #188 on my dress I'll work on the kitchen you like hot dogs occasionally yes fine we'll

00:10:57 #189 have them for lunch and for dinner we'll have steak lunch dinner why I haven't even

00:11:03 #190 been interviewed yet what's your name Stephanie Gaylord what are your friends

00:11:08 #191 called Steve all that settles that I think she should be hired how I am

00:11:12 #192 short-hand. A hundred and twenty words a minute. You do laundry? My own generally.

00:11:18 #193 Well you're going to have to learn to do silk shirts a hundred and twenty a minute.

00:11:21 #194 I'll do the cooking and eating. Do you live here too? No I live next door.

00:11:26 #195 He hasn't been there since July. That's because I have no kitchen. Well we see we

00:11:30 #196 share our kitchen on a cooperative basis. He cooks and he eats. You know Owen and

00:11:36 #197 I went to school together. I was in kindergarten and he was in the eighth

00:11:40 #198 grade. And I went to high school and he was still in kindergarten. And then I studied

00:11:45 #199 piano and became a character in every Waterbury book. And what were you in last

00:11:50 #200 years love? I was the chorus girl who studied piano and was very bitter about

00:11:54 #201 the world. Where'd you work before? Who me? I was secretary to Charles Harris. He

00:12:00 #202 owns the Harris bookstores all over the country. And how is Mr. Waterbury's

00:12:04 #203 latest novel doing? Second only to the Bible. Oh well he won't like that. You

00:12:09 #204 You married Steve?

00:12:11 #205 No, I'm not.

00:12:12 #206 Please, Ronnie, I'm not interested in whether or not Ms. Gaylord is married.

00:12:15 #207 Oh, no.

00:12:20 #208 My biscuits are burning.

00:12:22 #209 I've, uh, I've had married secretaries before, and while their husbands were a little troublesome.

00:12:28 #210 They were murder.

00:12:29 #211 Uh, his working hours are very peculiar.

00:12:42 #212 I think we've done a good job.

00:12:44 #213 I had such a different impression of what this job would be like.

00:12:48 #214 Oh, today wasn't unusual day.

00:12:50 #215 But after this, there'll be no more distractions.

00:12:53 #216 Knock, knock, knock.

00:12:54 #217 I'll go.

00:12:55 #218 We're gonna work in an atmosphere of dignity and culture.

00:13:00 #219 Oh, it's your bookmaker.

00:13:06 #220 Mary, that man's here again.

00:13:10 #221 I've heard you.

00:13:12 #222 How much do I owe this time?

00:13:14 #223 11 bucks.

00:13:15 #224 Don't you get me no more of your tips.

00:13:17 #225 That horse will come in next time out.

00:13:19 #226 Next time out, he'll be dragging a load of ice.

00:13:22 #227 Well, what are we owe you?

00:13:24 #228 $278 per oan and a buck for you.

00:13:27 #229 Excuse me.

00:13:36 #230 Here you are.

00:13:38 #231 I'll have to owe you mine until next week.

00:13:40 #232 You want to wage her today?

00:13:42 #233 Well, I haven't looked them over yet, but I'll give you a call.

00:13:44 #234 And no more 50 cents, that's...

00:13:46 #235 The boss don't like them.

00:13:51 #236 Where was that?

00:13:53 #237 You were telling me that everything here was dignified and cultural.

00:13:56 #238 Oh, yeah.

00:13:57 #239 Now, Steve, about your other duties.

00:14:06 #240 Did you just have an interview with my daughter, Mary Hastings?

00:14:09 #241 about a secretarial job.

00:14:10 #242 Why, yes.

00:14:20 #243 I have a message for you.

00:14:21 #244 Well, what's the message?

00:14:23 #245 Mr. Waterbury, I don't think I want this job.

00:14:28 #246 Well, why not?

00:14:29 #247 Well, when you spoke at class last evening,

00:14:33 #248 everything seemed so, so refreshing.

00:14:37 #249 And when I read your novels,

00:14:39 #250 they were filled with such quality and high purpose.

00:14:43 #251 And I'm afraid all that's spoiled now, so...

00:14:47 #252 No harsh words, no hard feelings. Just...

00:14:51 #253 Just get somebody else.

00:14:52 #254 Well, if that's the way you feel, Miss Gaylord,

00:14:59 #255 are you walking out on Owen Waterbury?

00:15:02 #256 Don't beg the girl to work for me, Ronnie. Just call the agency and get another girl.

00:15:06 #257 Now, you know you don't mean that. We'd both like this one.

00:15:08 #258 Are you going to let me out of here or do I have to call the police?

00:15:11 #259 They're here already.

00:15:17 #260 I came for the end.

00:15:20 #261 Mrs. Reeves, I just mailed you a check this morning.

00:15:23 #262 Oh, you always do that knowing full well that I only live downstairs.

00:15:27 #263 Any damage this month?

00:15:29 #264 Oh, it's been a very, very uneventful month.

00:15:31 #265 Oh, we'll call it again.

00:15:33 #266 Yes.

00:15:35 #267 Mercy! She belongs here!

00:15:42 #268 And this duck up here, you throw the whole room out of contour.

00:15:46 #269 Mrs. Reyes, if you'll excuse me.

00:15:48 #270 I heard you screaming just outside the door. New secretary?

00:15:50 #271 Well, yes, yes.

00:15:52 #272 You being hired or fired?

00:15:53 #273 Miss Gaylord has just been engaged.

00:15:55 #274 Oh, too bad, Mr. Warburg, because suddenly moves me apart and upstairs.

00:15:59 #275 But just fill your every requirement.

00:16:02 #276 Well, unfortunately, Mrs. Reeves, the job has just been filled.

00:16:05 #277 Well, I want you to meet her anyway. Felicia!

00:16:07 #278 Felicia Adams, I want you to meet the famous Owen Waterbury.

00:16:20 #279 How do you do?

00:16:21 #280 My name.

00:16:22 #281 How do you do?

00:16:25 #282 Felicia came to California to get into the movies.

00:16:27 #283 Now, who does she remind you of?

00:16:29 #284 Well, now, don't tell me. Let me guess.

00:16:31 #285 The Zezu Piz.

00:16:36 #286 Oh, of course not.

00:16:38 #287 Felicia, in addition to being a secretary,

00:16:41 #288 is a very good actress, aren't you, dear?

00:16:44 #289 And take off your coat and let them see.

00:16:55 #290 She's got a lot of talent there.

00:16:57 #291 I thought you'd think so.

00:16:59 #292 I was a model back in Texas,

00:17:01 #293 but I came out here for a career.

00:17:04 #294 Daddy's financing me.

00:17:06 #295 A friend of yours?

00:17:08 #296 No, my father.

00:17:10 #297 Perhaps Felicia could play the heroine in your next novel

00:17:13 #298 it's made to move me. She could do that. What's a heroine like? It's a girl from the

00:17:18 #299 south. Why all from the south? How? She's trying to hook a rich man. She's insincere

00:17:29 #300 and a moron. But what's worrying you? Well I'm not so worried about being

00:17:36 #301 insincere but as for being a moron. Well don't worry about that. You could act

00:17:43 #302 like a moron couldn't you dear I could try oh I'm going to dramatic school maybe

00:17:50 #303 they can teach me to be a moron if you studied hard enough yes it would take a

00:17:56 #304 lot of work look Mrs. Reeves I haven't even started my novel yet and it doesn't

00:18:00 #305 look as if I'm going to if I'm continually interrupting where we leave

00:18:03 #306 and let you work oh Ronnie I'm having a party for 50 yes tonight and I'm

00:18:07 #307 expecting you to entertain for us at nine

00:18:10 #308 Is it informal or shall I bathe?

00:18:14 #309 If you don't care if they've chained it, my part is.

00:18:17 #310 Say you're right.

00:18:19 #311 Well, I'm off to the washroom.

00:18:21 #312 You haven't got a chance.

00:18:23 #313 You know, ever since her husband died

00:18:32 #314 and left her seven buildings, she's been a peeping tom.

00:18:35 #315 Now, come on, Steve, let you and I prepare lunch.

00:18:37 #316 Look, I stayed only because I didn't want to cause a scene in front of your landlady,

00:18:41 #317 but I'm really leaving now.

00:18:43 #318 What a night, Steve. What a night.

00:18:46 #319 Take this dog. Come on, take it down.

00:18:48 #320 Where's your pet?

00:18:49 #321 I'm with the girl I have a pet.

00:18:50 #322 You can't put a car like this without a pet.

00:18:52 #323 Oh, my God.

00:18:53 #324 Here.

00:19:08 #325 Get over there.

00:19:16 #326 I need a pencil.

00:19:17 #327 Pen.

00:19:18 #328 Wait.

00:19:19 #329 I've got a pencil.

00:19:21 #330 Paul is on my new novel.

00:19:28 #331 That's all for now.

00:19:31 #332 Tomorrow morning at 10 o'clock.

00:19:40 #333 He's incubating the blast.

00:19:42 #334 Come along.

00:19:43 #335 I was always finding another way.

00:19:45 #336 Yes, yes, always.

00:19:46 #337 I remember.

00:19:48 #338 On last year's love, I was baking a cake.

00:19:52 #339 All of a sudden, he called me out

00:19:53 #340 and I had to start taking dictation.

00:19:54 #341 And I couldn't go back until he was soon dictating.

00:19:57 #342 At 3 o'clock in the morning, we sat down

00:19:59 #343 to chocolate-covered ashes.

00:20:06 #344 Well, I'll see you at 10 o'clock in the morning.

00:20:25 #345 Hello?

00:20:26 #346 Hello, Steve.

00:20:27 #347 I couldn't wait for you to call me, so I'm calling you.

00:20:29 #348 How was the job?

00:20:30 #349 Well, I had to make an adjustment, you know.

00:20:34 #350 It's such an unusual kind of a job.

00:20:38 #351 I can imagine.

00:20:41 #352 He started his novel today.

00:20:43 #353 Oh interesting story. Well.

00:20:47 #354 He didn't get very far into it but but I'm sure it's going to be wonderful.

00:20:52 #355 He seems so excited about it.

00:20:54 #356 Look Steve let's have dinner one night this week.

00:20:58 #357 Well I'll call you the first night I have three.

00:21:43 #358 You're bright and early this morning.

00:21:57 #359 It's 10 o'clock.

00:21:59 #360 Say, did you ever think how you'd look in mink?

00:22:02 #361 I see you've got your pad. Keep your pencil poised.

00:22:05 #362 The genius is still dressing.

00:22:07 #363 I'm making potato pancakes for lunch, and he's in a sour cream mood today.

00:22:11 #364 If you need anything ironed, I'll be in the kitchen ironing.

00:22:14 #365 Good morning, Chief.

00:22:16 #366 Right on time.

00:22:18 #367 Let's see.

00:22:20 #368 When did I leave off yesterday?

00:22:22 #369 Notes on my new novel.

00:22:24 #370 Yeah.

00:22:26 #371 Uh...

00:22:28 #372 I'll go. Where'd I leave off?

00:22:50 #373 Notes on my new novel.

00:22:51 #374 Oh yeah.

00:22:56 #375 Make that notes on my new novel.

00:22:59 #376 By Owen Waterbury.

00:23:02 #377 That's good.

00:23:03 #378 Oh, that's real good. Don't you think that's good?

00:23:05 #379 Oh, I like that.

00:23:06 #380 Chapter one. General introduction of characters.

00:23:10 #381 Chapter two.

00:23:12 #382 I'll do chapter two tomorrow.

00:23:14 #383 Chapter of day, that's swell.

00:23:17 #384 You sure you're not tired?

00:23:18 #385 Miss Gaylord, you stay here and answer the telephone.

00:23:20 #386 I'm going to the beach for some salt air.

00:23:23 #387 Well, be sure you don't bring any home with you.

00:23:25 #388 Right, boy.

00:23:26 #389 Let's drive someplace nice like Santa Barbara.

00:23:29 #390 Well, honey, anything you say.

00:23:31 #391 Don't pay any attention to him.

00:23:37 #392 He's just trying to make you jealous.

00:23:40 #393 Jealous?

00:23:41 #394 Well, what makes you think I'm even interested in him?

00:23:45 #395 You know, for a secretary who's just been given the day off,

00:23:47 #396 the day off you're awfully annoyed annoyed of course I'm annoyed I just don't

00:23:53 #397 want to sit here doing nothing I came here to work I came here to do nothing and

00:23:58 #398 now I'm working look if you get paid for idleness grab at you fool there goes

00:24:08 #399 another one I'd like to ask you a question yes does Mr. Waterbury intend

00:24:34 #400 to write a book that's a very interesting question

00:24:38 #401 Waterbury's a genius.

00:24:40 #402 What do you think he's doing right now? Incubating.

00:24:42 #403 Exactly.

00:24:43 #404 And whenever he goes through a mood like this,

00:24:45 #405 a great book comes out of it.

00:24:47 #406 I'll bet he does a lot of writing tonight.

00:24:49 #407 Why, honey, you're jealous.

00:24:52 #408 Look, I don't even know Mr. Waterbury.

00:24:55 #409 At this point, I'm not even sure I want to.

00:24:58 #410 Of course not, honey.

00:25:00 #411 Say, can you tell me what I'm doing wrong?

00:25:10 #412 Everything. Here, let me have it.

00:25:12 #413 How can you get so many wrinkles in it?

00:25:14 #414 He's tried 16 laundries, but he still likes my work best.

00:25:17 #415 These are good shirts.

00:25:19 #416 We're good shirts.

00:25:20 #417 You know, I just thought of something.

00:25:24 #418 What?

00:25:25 #419 I must be going out of my mind.

00:25:27 #420 Why?

00:25:28 #421 Well, I went to night school for a whole year

00:25:30 #422 to learn to be a writer.

00:25:31 #423 And here I am doing a guy's laundry.

00:25:34 #424 It's not done yet.

00:25:47 #425 Hello?

00:25:48 #426 Miss Gaylord, this is Owen Waterbury.

00:25:50 #427 I want you to be here tomorrow morning at 9 o'clock.

00:25:53 #428 I've finally gotten the idea.

00:25:55 #429 Thank you.

00:25:57 #430 You know what, I like that idea.

00:25:59 #431 Yeah? I don't think there's a horse in there that can beat him.

00:26:02 #432 Never.

00:26:03 #433 Morning!

00:26:17 #434 Oh, lead your coat on. Feed the tax. He'll be here in just a minute.

00:26:19 #435 Good affair for her?

00:26:20 #436 Well, she can use mine.

00:26:21 #437 Where are we going?

00:26:22 #438 To the races.

00:26:24 #439 Haven't you ever been?

00:26:25 #440 Oh, I've never in my life.

00:26:26 #441 Swell, always lucky the first time. Come on.

00:26:27 #442 What about that idea you had there?

00:26:29 #443 Oh, back and wait till after the third race.

00:26:31 #444 Look, I got a fortune here.

00:26:32 #445 Look, Mr. Waterbury, I ought to go along.

00:26:34 #446 Are you complaining about being paid to go to the races?

00:26:36 #447 Come on!

00:26:37 #448 Wait!

00:26:38 #449 What happened there?

00:26:39 #450 This time I take those guys' tips.

00:27:10 #451 Well, so far this job has cost me $83.

00:27:20 #452 Now don't worry, I'll see you get that back.

00:27:22 #453 Why should you? I gambled and I lost.

00:27:25 #454 Well, losing is good for the soul.

00:27:27 #455 We have the three best souls in town.

00:27:31 #456 Good morning.

00:27:32 #457 Morning.

00:27:33 #458 We'll leave you code on speed to plane leaves in 35 minutes.

00:27:49 #459 Plane? Where are you going?

00:27:51 #460 Las Vegas and get back $83.

00:27:53 #461 Las Vegas?

00:27:54 #462 Las Vegas and get back 83 dollars.

00:27:56 #463 Las Vegas? I can't go to Las Vegas with you.

00:28:00 #464 Are you objecting to being paid while working?

00:28:02 #465 Paid. I don't think I can afford to work for you much longer, Mr. Waterberry.

00:28:07 #466 Oh, Steve, it only takes an hour and a half to fly.

00:28:09 #467 I'm gonna catch the evening paying back. You're home in time for dinner.

00:28:11 #468 With tons of money.

00:28:12 #469 No, I won't. Go, I just won't.

00:28:14 #470 Now, please.

00:28:21 #471 Have a new one.

00:28:40 #472 Oh, that's true.

00:28:41 #473 Right here, right here.

00:28:42 #474 Oh, sorry, Steve.

00:28:44 #475 No dollar, bestie.

00:28:44 #476 When you think you're on horseback, just hit the road.

00:28:47 #477 Come on, baby. Here we go.

00:28:48 #478 Come on.

00:28:49 #479 Oh, the easy way.

00:28:50 #480 What is your point? Hard way.

00:28:52 #481 Oh, for the hard way.

00:28:53 #482 Hard way for the hard way.

00:28:55 #483 Here it comes. Here she is. Four. And seven. You lose. Seven. You lose.

00:28:59 #484 Standing on my right again, huh?

00:29:01 #485 When are we leaving, Mr. Waterbird? Meading.

00:29:03 #486 I'm stuck 3,000.

00:29:04 #487 But you said we'd catch the midnight plane.

00:29:06 #488 There'll be another plane at two, darling.

00:29:08 #489 Next year, please.

00:29:09 #490 Grab the night shooter.

00:29:10 #491 I'll be right here. Oh, please. Oh, come on.

00:29:12 #492 Let's go.

00:29:13 #493 I thought working for a writer

00:29:15 #494 was going to be so uplifting.

00:29:16 #495 I didn't do anything.

00:29:18 #496 What are you grinning about?

00:29:20 #497 I'm betting on crap.

00:29:21 #498 Everything was going to be so intellectual.

00:29:24 #499 Correct again.

00:29:28 #500 Are you doing that on purpose?

00:29:30 #501 What did I do?

00:29:31 #502 You're doing all right, honey.

00:29:32 #503 What's her point?

00:29:33 #504 Her point is crap.

00:29:34 #505 Can't you make anything but crap?

00:29:36 #506 I was going to meet only literary people.

00:29:41 #507 Correct Smith.

00:29:44 #508 You're making me angry.

00:29:46 #509 Correct Smith.

00:29:48 #510 Oh, you never saw that before.

00:29:53 #511 Don't make any more craps, understand?

00:29:55 #512 I'll tell him when he comes in.

00:29:56 #513 Keep your mind on the dice.

00:29:58 #514 Put this all on seven.

00:29:59 #515 You got it?

00:30:00 #516 I'll make this five for one.

00:30:02 #517 You know, I'm writing a novel, two minutes of water.

00:30:04 #518 It'll be a honey, a two and a one.

00:30:06 #519 Correct.

00:30:07 #520 Four, three, four.

00:30:08 #521 Right, get out of here.

00:30:09 #522 Not good, listen.

00:30:12 #523 What's wrong?

00:30:13 #524 Keep your mind on the dice when you roll up.

00:30:15 #525 How dare you speak to me like that?

00:30:17 #526 big to me like that. Just for that you're on your own.

00:30:20 #527 Like correct.

00:30:22 #528 Second. Come on. Bring it in.

00:30:26 #529 Over here.

00:30:27 #530 I had money.

00:30:32 #531 Hey, Lord.

00:30:33 #532 Steve, what are you going?

00:30:34 #533 I'm going home.

00:30:36 #534 And I never want to see you again.

00:30:37 #535 You're a fraud, Mr. Waterbury.

00:30:39 #536 A cheap, egotistical fraud.

00:30:41 #537 And your whole existence is something I want no part of.

00:30:44 #538 I'm sorry I even met you because you've

00:30:46 #539 spoiled something for me.

00:30:48 #540 You've spoiled my impression of Owen Waterbury,

00:30:50 #541 the rider Steve look you can't go home alone I'll take you home Steve please sit

00:30:55 #542 down with you I want to talk to you please Steve honestly this gambling it's

00:31:03 #543 an insidious thing it changes a person I'm really terribly sorry well then why

00:31:09 #544 don't you put a stop to all of this and get down to work I guess I'm afraid afraid

00:31:17 #545 of what I'm afraid I'm not the great writer I started out to be instead I'm

00:31:23 #546 just a commercial hack. Oh no you're not. Didn't you see how everyone at the

00:31:29 #547 university treated you with awe and respect? Why don't you write another love story?

00:31:36 #548 I think going backwards. Backwards? Stick to your last. You know the story of the

00:31:43 #549 clown who always wanted to play Hamlet? If you keep telling yourself you're a failure

00:31:47 #550 you'll be one. If I try another love story will you work for me? If you work.

00:31:54 #551 I'll work for you.

00:31:56 #552 I'm poor again.

00:32:03 #553 I just switched to sevens.

00:32:30 #554 No, no, keep your coat on. I'll tell you why.

00:32:32 #555 The taxi's gonna be here in just one minute.

00:32:34 #556 What?

00:32:35 #557 Oh, don't worry. We're gonna work, but let's do it at the beach house.

00:32:37 #558 Huh?

00:32:38 #559 He's superstitious, honey. He starts all his novels at the beach house.

00:32:40 #560 But why the beach house?

00:32:42 #561 Would you like last year's love?

00:32:43 #562 Very much.

00:32:44 #563 Well, most of last year's love was done down there.

00:32:47 #564 Shall I take the typewriter?

00:32:49 #565 It'd be a nice idea.

00:32:50 #566 Ronny, will you stop teasing the girl?

00:32:52 #567 I'll be dictating today.

00:32:53 #568 Come on, Steve.

00:33:00 #569 I'll dictate this in outline form,

00:33:02 #570 and then I'll polish it up later.

00:33:03 #571 Yes, Mr. Waterbury.

00:33:06 #572 This is the story of a successful novelist

00:33:10 #573 who began to die morally and spiritually

00:33:14 #574 until a girl came into his life.

00:33:16 #575 And then the whole world seemed changed.

00:33:19 #576 It's seen her one night while delivering a lecture

00:33:21 #577 to a short story class.

00:33:23 #578 There were so many faces looming up in front of him.

00:33:26 #579 But he saw only one,

00:33:28 #580 whistful, delicate, exquisitely beautiful.

00:33:34 #581 Without her knowledge, he arranged to make her his secretary

00:33:36 #582 because in that fleeting moment, in that single instant,

00:33:41 #583 he knew he was desperately in love with her.

00:33:45 #584 One day, he asked her to go to his beach house and work there

00:33:48 #585 because he wanted very much to tell her the way he felt,

00:33:52 #586 but he lacked the courage.

00:33:54 #587 Mr. Waterbury, I...

00:33:56 #588 Miss Gaylord, when I'm working, I don't like to be disturbed.

00:33:58 #589 Sorry.

00:34:00 #590 Where was I?

00:34:01 #591 He wanted very much to tell her how he felt,

00:34:03 #592 but he lacked the courage.

00:34:06 #593 Oh, oh yes.

00:34:09 #594 Now here she was, seated before him,

00:34:12 #595 tender and fragile as a paw.

00:34:15 #596 He had looked around the corner, and there she was.

00:34:19 #597 What's the matter?

00:34:20 #598 I've broke my pencil.

00:34:22 #599 Here you are.

00:34:24 #600 Let's continue.

00:34:30 #601 He was tempted to take her up in his arms and sweep her to the summit, but he didn't dare.

00:34:35 #602 He knew very little about her, yet there was nothing else he needed to know.

00:34:40 #603 As he strode up and down the room dictating, he, uh...

00:34:44 #604 he looked toward her polka dot necktie.

00:34:47 #605 What's the matter with you?

00:34:48 #606 Nothing.

00:34:53 #607 Polka dot necktie.

00:34:54 #608 Oh, uh, he, uh...

00:35:00 #609 he was impressed by the loveliness of her hair, her soft blue eyes, her...

00:35:06 #610 delicate mouth.

00:35:08 #611 A breathing, living thing that made him exalted and inspired.

00:35:11 #612 He wanted to take her in his arms and smother her with kisses

00:35:15 #613 and drown himself in the beauty of her soul, but...

00:35:19 #614 he was a coward.

00:35:22 #615 How do you like it?

00:35:23 #616 It... it has possibilities.

00:35:25 #617 Suddenly he threw caution to the wind.

00:35:27 #618 And kissed him, melted in his arms and offered no resistance.

00:35:36 #619 Seriously, they held one another in silent embrace.

00:35:40 #620 You're wrong, girl, Mr. Waterbury.

00:35:49 #621 I'm really leaving you this time.

00:35:50 #622 And don't you ever try and get in touch with me again.

00:35:53 #623 I don't even want my salary check.

00:35:55 #624 You can save it for the next victim.

00:35:57 #625 And if I ever see one of your books again, I'll burn it!

00:36:01 #626 Well, hello, son.

00:36:12 #627 I just thought I'd call you and let you know

00:36:13 #628 I made dinner for the three of us,

00:36:15 #629 and ask Steve if she likes popovers.

00:36:17 #630 Steve's just quit.

00:36:21 #631 Yeah, I'm dictating a harmless little scene.

00:36:23 #632 Suddenly she takes a fence, slams me on the couch

00:36:26 #633 with a hammer lock, and walks out.

00:36:28 #634 Is she insane?

00:36:30 #635 Well, I'll call the agency and get them to send over another girl.

00:36:34 #636 I better get one who likes broiled chicken,

00:36:35 #637 because that's what we have for dinner.

00:36:37 #638 Don't call anybody.

00:36:39 #639 I'm not going to go to work for a long time.

00:36:41 #640 Come on.

00:36:59 #641 Will you get out of here so I can wash these keys?

00:37:01 #642 I'm composing. Composing.

00:37:03 #643 I haven't heard a good song out of you yet.

00:37:05 #644 BELL RINGS That's it.

00:37:09 #645 Give me that again.

00:37:13 #646 Thank you very much.

00:37:18 #647 What are you calling that thing?

00:37:21 #648 I got a cold in my nose.

00:37:23 #649 Come on, sing it.

00:37:24 #650 Oh, Mr. Mania, I...

00:37:26 #651 Oh, don't be silly. I just want to hear the quality.

00:37:30 #652 Sniff is a handkerchief.

00:37:36 #653 Because don't hide.

00:37:39 #654 Touch yourself, go and blow.

00:37:54 #655 Sad things.

00:37:55 #656 Some water. Some water.

00:38:03 #657 Water in the kitchen!

00:38:04 #658 I can't go in there. The place is on fire.

00:38:06 #659 Here, this is the water.

00:38:09 #660 You and your cookin'!

00:38:11 #661 You and your pop-over, they don't pop. They explode.

00:38:13 #662 Call the fire department!

00:38:14 #663 The fire department!

00:38:15 #664 They just put water over everything!

00:38:17 #665 I can't!

00:38:18 #666 Oh!

00:38:29 #667 I'm not going to clean up this mess.

00:38:30 #668 All right, just for that you won't get a piece of pie.

00:38:33 #669 What's in that garbage can?

00:38:35 #670 Pie?

00:38:36 #671 30 misses out of 31 tries.

00:38:39 #672 31 misses.

00:38:46 #673 Well, at least the roast chicken's safe.

00:38:49 #674 Roast chicken?

00:38:56 #675 How can you pour roast chicken?

00:38:58 #676 Well, I had the roast in the pressure cooker.

00:39:00 #677 It melted a little.

00:39:01 #678 Oh, he'll have his dinner out tonight.

00:39:04 #679 Well, so am I.

00:39:05 #680 You don't think I'm going to eat this horrible mess, do you?

00:39:08 #681 Try on.

00:39:13 #682 All right.

00:39:14 #683 He has a nice roast chicken for you, Mr. Waterbury.

00:39:16 #684 Give him a glass, please.

00:39:17 #685 Huh?

00:39:18 #686 Mr. Waterbury, I think it's my duty as your servant

00:39:21 #687 to tell you what just happened in the kitchen.

00:39:23 #688 Oh, now, Mary, why don't you go home?

00:39:25 #689 Mr. Ronnie set fire to the kitchen.

00:39:27 #690 I don't care if he sets fire to the whole apartment.

00:39:29 #691 You see, Tatl's health, a lot of good it, did you?

00:39:34 #692 I'm going to tell the man, lady, on you and you too.

00:39:36 #693 Ta-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da.

00:39:39 #694 Well, what happened down at the beach house?

00:39:42 #695 Will you stop asking me silly questions?

00:39:44 #696 I told you, on the phone, she quit.

00:39:46 #697 That's all.

00:39:47 #698 Well, she had some nerve.

00:39:48 #699 Well, I don't need her.

00:39:49 #700 There's a lot of other secretaries.

00:39:50 #701 Of course there are.

00:39:51 #702 That's as capable, efficient, and just as cute.

00:39:53 #703 Sure.

00:39:55 #704 We never did find out how good she could type.

00:39:58 #705 Well, I'll call the agency and get another secretary.

00:40:01 #706 I got a better idea.

00:40:03 #707 What you going to do?

00:40:04 #708 I'm going to pass.

00:40:06 #709 Where are you going?

00:40:08 #710 New York. Change of environment.

00:40:10 #711 I'll work better there.

00:40:12 #712 Going to get rid of the apartment?

00:40:14 #713 What's going to happen to me?

00:40:16 #714 What should happen to you?

00:40:18 #715 That's a very unfair question.

00:40:20 #716 I'm not going to let a little thing like a secretary throw me off balance.

00:40:22 #717 Never in a million years.

00:40:24 #718 I've got a life to live too.

00:40:26 #719 Wonderful, beautiful, exciting life.

00:40:28 #720 I've got a book inside me, a great book full of intensity and scope.

00:40:32 #721 Oh, you know something Ronnie?

00:40:34 #722 I'm glad this happened.

00:40:36 #723 I'm down to earth now.

00:40:38 #724 What happened?

00:40:40 #725 Well, you can still use it.

00:40:44 #726 Elsie called.

00:40:48 #727 She's, uh, sorry she quit in a half,

00:40:51 #728 and she apologized for the cab driver.

00:40:54 #729 See, that's what Steve will be doing tomorrow.

00:40:56 #730 Calling and apologizing, but I won't be here.

00:41:00 #731 Say, what am I running away for anyway?

00:41:02 #732 I'm not afraid of her.

00:41:04 #733 That's what I like to hear.

00:41:05 #734 That's the real Owen Waterbury.

00:41:07 #735 Listen, call Elsie. We'll take her out to dinner.

00:41:09 #736 We'll take up all out to dinner. A different one each night.

00:41:12 #737 I'll go and change my apron and be right back.

00:41:14 #738 But, Brian, Detective Agency?

00:41:34 #739 Uh, this is Owen Waterbury.

00:41:37 #740 Yeah. Look, I want you to shadow a girl for me.

00:41:41 #741 Stephanie Gaylord.

00:41:44 #742 Now, let's all try to have a good time tonight, okay?

00:41:47 #743 I'm willing. Are you running?

00:41:48 #744 I'm willing. Good evening, Mr. Waterbury.

00:41:50 #745 Hello, Francois.

00:41:51 #746 Hair, why hair?

00:41:52 #747 I like it here.

00:41:53 #748 You've always hated the Ridgley room.

00:41:55 #749 He's joking.

00:41:56 #750 I'm not joking.

00:41:57 #751 You've always hated it.

00:41:58 #752 Handing the LC.

00:41:59 #753 I thought so.

00:42:00 #754 I always hated it.

00:42:01 #755 Mr. Wallaberry, there's a gentleman here to see you.

00:42:03 #756 Oh, yes.

00:42:04 #757 Ronny, will you take Elsie to a table and I'll join you in just a minute.

00:42:08 #758 All right, but don't leave us.

00:42:09 #759 Don't stick Elsie with the check again.

00:42:11 #760 Antonio, table three.

00:42:12 #761 Table three.

00:42:13 #762 Where is he?

00:42:14 #763 Alcove two.

00:42:15 #764 Oh.

00:42:16 #765 Good evening.

00:42:17 #766 Is that the gentleman?

00:42:19 #767 Yes, sir.

00:42:20 #768 Did you send me that message?

00:42:26 #769 Yes. Brian detected me.

00:42:28 #770 Oh, Devin is the man.

00:42:29 #771 Well, how'd you find her so fast?

00:42:31 #772 That's my job.

00:42:32 #773 There she is right over there with a man.

00:42:35 #774 Who's the man?

00:42:36 #775 I don't know.

00:42:37 #776 Do you want me to find out?

00:42:38 #777 Of course I do.

00:42:39 #778 All right.

00:42:40 #779 I'll start shattering both him and her.

00:42:42 #780 You want to find out everything you can about her?

00:42:45 #781 I think she's in love with him.

00:42:46 #782 Is she your wife?

00:42:47 #783 No, my secretary.

00:42:49 #784 I get you.

00:42:50 #785 Look, I want nobody to know about this.

00:42:51 #786 Don't worry.

00:42:52 #787 operate even you won't know about it. Check a passport it'll be expensive. Why the

00:42:58 #788 unknown quantity you just finished checking on a girl took us a year to get

00:43:02 #789 a pass caught up with her present. Do a good job I will take care of my check. Yes

00:43:14 #790 give me a pack please. I am Steve. Hello Ronnie don't talk to her I'm mad at him.

00:43:57 #791 Oh, I forgot.

00:44:01 #792 Good evening.

00:44:06 #793 You know him?

00:44:07 #794 Uh-huh.

00:44:08 #795 He's my new boss.

00:44:09 #796 Yeah, you boss.

00:44:10 #797 What's his name?

00:44:11 #798 Charles Harris.

00:44:13 #799 The book seller.

00:44:15 #800 That's Steve's old boss.

00:44:17 #801 He's not so old.

00:44:19 #802 How dare you go work for him?

00:44:21 #803 Listen, Shakespeare, I'll work for whom I please.

00:44:23 #804 Or did you have to pick on her old boss?

00:44:25 #805 Did she pick on mine?

00:44:27 #806 And Mr. Harris called the employment agency he asked for somebody with this very experience.

00:44:32 #807 How did you qualify?

00:44:34 #808 You used to work for Wauhaberry.

00:44:36 #809 Steve with her principles out with her exports.

00:44:39 #810 What about Elsie? Who's she out with?

00:44:42 #811 We're talking about Steve and her principles.

00:44:44 #812 We find out of it.

00:44:45 #813 You know, I bet Harris heard you just a spy on me.

00:44:48 #814 Well, you're not very complimentary.

00:44:50 #815 I happen to be an excellent secretary.

00:44:53 #816 When did you learn to type, dear?

00:44:55 #817 As he been questioning you about me.

00:44:59 #818 Only the normal questions about my experience.

00:45:03 #819 You didn't talk, did you?

00:45:07 #820 Ronnie, would you stop looking at everything at one big long laugh?

00:45:11 #821 I've got a lot for you, lover boy.

00:45:13 #822 What?

00:45:14 #823 They're going to be married.

00:45:15 #824 They're what? They're going to be married?

00:45:19 #825 Where are you going?

00:45:20 #826 I'm going to talk to her.

00:45:21 #827 Go on, please.

00:45:22 #828 A boiled chicken.

00:45:25 #829 You want?

00:45:26 #830 I'll have a glass full too

00:45:31 #831 Hello

00:45:32 #832 Good evening

00:45:34 #833 Mr. Harris, Mr. Waterbury. Well, congratulations. I just heard the good news. What good news?

00:45:39 #834 Oh, about your marriage Stephanie. May I dance with a bride? That's entirely up to her, isn't it?

00:45:44 #835 May I? Thank you. Not at all.

00:45:50 #836 So she decided to get married to the wrong guy.

00:45:56 #837 Are we going to dance or are you going to dictate a novel?

00:45:59 #838 I want you to nice and tell us a girl like you marry a man she doesn't even love.

00:46:03 #839 For your information, I'm not marrying anyone.

00:46:06 #840 Oh, well now I respect you.

00:46:08 #841 You respect all girls who decide not to get married.

00:46:14 #842 Uh, going back to work for him?

00:46:16 #843 Is this a quiz or are we going to dance?

00:46:19 #844 Well, it could be both.

00:46:22 #845 Say, how would you like your own job back?

00:46:24 #846 Better terms?

00:46:25 #847 Not interested.

00:46:26 #848 I'll throw in a bonus.

00:46:28 #849 Marriage.

00:46:29 #850 Mr. Waterberry, you talk about marriage as though it was something cheap and vulgar.

00:46:35 #851 Who else but Owen Waterberry would invite you out for the evening and dance with another girl?

00:46:40 #852 I would.

00:46:42 #853 Say, why don't you pay him back and dance with Mr. Harris?

00:46:45 #854 I wouldn't think of dancing as my boss.

00:46:49 #855 This is me you're talking to, remember?

00:46:52 #856 Well, I mean, not till I've worked for him.

00:46:55 #857 Not far in.

00:46:57 #858 For a few days.

00:46:59 #859 What's a nice son of them?

00:47:00 #860 Steve, your mom's at last.

00:47:05 #861 I'm holding you at last.

00:47:07 #862 We're dancing.

00:47:08 #863 You may be dancing, but I'm holding you.

00:47:10 #864 You're like the tide. You go out, but you also come in.

00:47:15 #865 Oh, and, Waterby, you're the most maddening man I've ever met.

00:47:18 #866 Listen to me, Steve, I love you.

00:47:20 #867 Everything I dictated at the beach house I met,

00:47:22 #868 but it was too much of a coward to say it out.

00:47:24 #869 I love you, Steve. Marry me. Take a chance.

00:47:27 #870 This is me, the author with beautiful words when I'm stopped.

00:47:30 #871 All I can say is, I love you, Mary.

00:47:34 #872 Your chicken, madame.

00:47:36 #873 And your chicken in the glass, sir.

00:47:41 #874 Harris looks lovely.

00:48:05 #875 Oh, Mr. Harris, this is Ronnie Hastings.

00:48:07 #876 How do you do?

00:48:08 #877 Won't you sit down and have a glass of royal chicken?

00:48:12 #878 Thank you. I think I will.

00:48:14 #879 Have you ever heard the story of the unholy three?

00:48:36 #880 If you don't mind, I think I'll be running along.

00:48:42 #881 Mr. Harris, would you mind taking me with you?

00:48:44 #882 Not at all.

00:48:45 #883 Who's going to take me?

00:48:47 #884 You want the floor show.

00:48:50 #885 Want to dance?

00:49:02 #886 I'd love it.

00:49:03 #887 Are you a gigolo?

00:49:12 #888 After tonight, I think I will be.

00:49:30 #889 It's a life strange.

00:49:31 #890 When one gets up in the morning, one never knows what one will be doing in the evening does one.

00:49:38 #891 Oh, dear.

00:49:39 #892 And in addition to the office of flies, please order one remington electric typewriter for the other office

00:49:59 #893 Hello, yes, what's the matter is anything wrong? Oh and what a very just married Steve

00:50:22 #894 He didn't oh yes, he did I

00:50:26 #895 Never thought she'd marry him I

00:50:29 #896 Never thought he'd get married

00:50:43 #897 Congratulations!

00:50:45 #898 Hi, you're right!

00:50:48 #899 May I be the first to kiss the bride?

00:50:51 #900 Or am I the first?

00:50:53 #901 I'm not a very wide awake bride.

00:50:55 #902 Honey, let's get some sleep and then we'll go over to the beach house. Huh?

00:50:57 #903 How long have you been driving? 24 hours.

00:50:59 #904 Ross Vegas and back. Oh.

00:51:00 #905 Hey, whose bag did he?

00:51:01 #906 Oh, well, those are Felicia.

00:51:03 #907 As soon as I told her the news, she decided to move out.

00:51:05 #908 It's a good idea.

00:51:06 #909 Darling, this is quite a threshold.

00:51:08 #910 Three stories up.

00:51:09 #911 Well, we can use the threshold upstairs.

00:51:11 #912 Oh, good idea.

00:51:12 #913 Hiya, Felicia!

00:51:13 #914 Congratulations. You did very well.

00:51:17 #915 She certainly did.

00:51:19 #916 I'll get you moved in as soon as I get her room down.

00:51:21 #917 Okay.

00:51:23 #918 Why don't you try the building next door here?

00:51:28 #919 Driver, old lady's home.

00:51:31 #920 I keep a phone out of you.

00:51:42 #921 Well, thank you, Mary.

00:51:45 #922 Yes, Emily. Hello, darling.

00:51:52 #923 Both for a bagage, madame, monsieur.

00:51:58 #924 I made a wedding breakfast.

00:52:00 #925 Spaghetti and meatball.

00:52:02 #926 Look Ronnie, I...

00:52:04 #927 Well, I know you're trying to be helpful, but this is our honeymoon.

00:52:07 #928 Well, we'd like to be alone.

00:52:09 #929 Oh, sure, sure.

00:52:11 #930 Say Steve, be nice to him, will ya?

00:52:15 #931 He's my only means of support.

00:52:17 #932 Darling, are you glad you married me?

00:52:27 #933 Oh, what a question to ask you now.

00:52:29 #934 Well, it was on the spur of the moment, and you do change your mind, so...

00:52:34 #935 Darling, I'll never change my mind about you.

00:52:37 #936 And the first nice thing in my life

00:52:42 #937 Could you tell me where his apartment three E who are you looking for?

00:52:46 #938 Listen that the business of the people in apartment three E

00:52:49 #939 It's the next apartment down the hall

00:52:55 #940 I beg your pardon

00:53:03 #941 Yes, and what can I do for you? I have a message for mr. Wofford better. I'm afraid mr. Waterbury can't be disturbed just now

00:53:18 #942 He's uh, he's a little busy. My name is Debonie

00:53:25 #943 Will you tell him the woman he's interested in got married?

00:53:30 #944 Hey, Owen!

00:53:39 #945 You got a minute?

00:53:43 #946 Ronnie, what is it now?

00:53:48 #947 There's a fellow who was outside said his name was Devney.

00:53:50 #948 He had a message for you.

00:53:52 #949 I don't know any Devneys.

00:53:53 #950 He said the party you were interested in got married.

00:53:56 #951 Well, congratulations. So did I.

00:53:58 #952 Darling, whom were you interested in who got married?

00:54:08 #953 There's only one married girl I'm interested in.

00:54:11 #954 You tell Mr. Waterbury I won't see him right away,

00:54:23 #955 and I mean immediately.

00:54:25 #956 Owen, horrible Hannan's here.

00:54:28 #957 We call you that affectionately here.

00:54:31 #958 Now what is it?

00:54:33 #959 Oh, excuse me.

00:54:35 #960 I didn't know your secretary was working late.

00:54:40 #961 They're married.

00:54:42 #962 Married.

00:54:44 #963 Well, is his wife.

00:54:45 #964 She might as well be in on this.

00:54:47 #965 Just what can I do for you, Mrs. Reed?

00:54:49 #966 I'm counting for all the rent.

00:54:51 #967 But I paid you the rent on the first, Mrs. Reed.

00:54:54 #968 I'm head to make a new room, Mr. Waterbury.

00:54:57 #969 I don't take bad checks.

00:55:01 #970 When did you make that rule?

00:55:02 #971 Since you moved in.

00:55:05 #972 Darling, do you happen to have $485 in the bank?

00:55:09 #973 I think so.

00:55:10 #974 Could you write me out a check till I get this thing straightened out?

00:55:13 #975 I can't understand how my account got so low.

00:55:17 #976 That $6,000 for the crap game?

00:55:20 #977 Oh yes.

00:55:21 #978 And the two bucks for the marriage license?

00:55:23 #979 What have to be!

00:55:25 #980 Thank you, dear.

00:55:26 #981 Thank you, Mrs. Waterbury.

00:55:29 #982 I never thought I'd ever call anybody Mrs. Waterbury.

00:55:35 #983 Well, I'll just walk you down the hall.

00:55:37 #984 Oh, thank you, Ronnie.

00:55:38 #985 Is this any good?

00:55:39 #986 She's loaded.

00:55:40 #987 All right, suppose an explanation is in order.

00:55:43 #988 You don't owe me an explanation.

00:55:45 #989 Oh, but, darling, I want to explain...

00:55:51 #990 Oh, excuse me.

00:55:52 #991 Oh, hello, Dick.

00:55:53 #992 Congratulations, we've been here for a long time.

00:55:56 #993 Oh, excuse me.

00:55:57 #994 Oh, hello, Dick.

00:56:05 #995 Congratulations.

00:56:06 #996 We just heard.

00:56:07 #997 Well, thank you, Bertie.

00:56:08 #998 Congratulations.

00:56:09 #999 Thanks a lot.

00:56:10 #1000 Oh, darling.

00:56:11 #1001 Won't you come in and sit down?

00:56:12 #1002 Oh, yes, thanks.

00:56:13 #1003 Oh, darling, I want you to meet Mr. Fulton, my publisher, and Bertie.

00:56:18 #1004 This is my wife.

00:56:19 #1005 How do you do?

00:56:20 #1006 So nice knowing you.

00:56:22 #1007 Oh, and you're not thinking of a prolonged honeymoon, are you?

00:56:26 #1008 Oh, no.

00:56:27 #1009 We're just going down to the beach house.

00:56:28 #1010 Well, I thought I'd dictate my honeymoon.

00:56:30 #1011 Good idea.

00:56:31 #1012 You know there's a deadline on that novel.

00:56:33 #1013 It's got to be made.

00:56:34 #1014 You know why.

00:56:36 #1015 Well, I'll have it ready, Dick.

00:56:37 #1016 I'll count on it.

00:56:38 #1017 Would you like a drink?

00:56:41 #1018 No, no, thanks.

00:56:42 #1019 We were double-parked downstairs.

00:56:44 #1020 Come here.

00:56:45 #1021 How's Ronnie?

00:56:46 #1022 Oh, still eating.

00:56:48 #1023 Same old Ronnie.

00:56:49 #1024 As Birdie's told me about Ronnie.

00:56:51 #1025 She says that when he dies, he'll ask the crematorium

00:56:53 #1026 to baste him slowly on both sides.

00:56:55 #1027 You know Ronnie?

00:56:57 #1028 Of course.

00:56:58 #1029 I was once Mr. Waterbury's secretary.

00:57:02 #1030 Well, thanks an awful lot of for coming, Dick.

00:57:06 #1031 Happy hoodie.

00:57:07 #1032 Thank you.

00:57:09 #1033 Darling, why did Mr. Fulton look at you so acutely?

00:57:21 #1034 Well, I owe him $20,000.

00:57:23 #1035 I drew it as advanced royalty against my next novel.

00:57:26 #1036 And that mint coat Mrs. Fulton had on?

00:57:29 #1037 Is that one you gave her?

00:57:30 #1038 Oh, buddy, man, nothing to me.

00:57:32 #1039 I'd written a best seller, and I was throwing money around like water.

00:57:35 #1040 You can always take it back and give it to Mr. Fulton as part payment.

00:57:39 #1041 I'll get you a hundred mink coats.

00:57:41 #1042 Darling, I don't think I can afford a hundred mink coats.

00:57:44 #1043 Draw a paint your rent. Look, it me broke.

00:57:46 #1044 Honey, did you marry me for my money?

00:57:48 #1045 No, but I'm beginning to think you married me for mine.

00:57:51 #1046 Look, darling, let's get out of here.

00:57:53 #1047 We're never going to be alone here.

00:57:55 #1048 Honey, I know a perfect little mountain cabin

00:57:57 #1049 away from publishers and landlady's.

00:57:59 #1050 And secretary?

00:58:00 #1051 Well, except you.

00:58:01 #1052 And I'm going to work. I promise you.

00:58:03 #1053 I promise you.

00:58:05 #1054 How long did you work on this book, darling?

00:58:15 #1055 Four months?

00:58:16 #1056 Four months? I'm rather proud of this one, Dick.

00:58:21 #1057 Where's Mrs. Walterberry?

00:58:23 #1058 Oh, Steve's down at the villa's getting groceries.

00:58:25 #1059 She wants to prepare you one of her special dinners.

00:58:28 #1060 Well, uh, I'm afraid I can't stay for dinner.

00:58:31 #1061 I have to catch that next train back.

00:58:33 #1062 Dick, let's drop the suspense. How'd you like the book?

00:58:37 #1063 I'm going to let you have it right between the eyes, Owen.

00:58:42 #1064 You don't like it?

00:58:43 #1065 I hate it. It's about the worst piece of drivel I ever read.

00:58:54 #1066 If I were to publish this, it would ruin you.

00:58:58 #1067 Fortunately, I found another book to use in its place.

00:59:00 #1068 What's the matter with me? Dick and my shrew?

00:59:02 #1069 Of course not. Every top-flight novelist has a bad book in him.

00:59:05 #1070 But how am I going to pay you back your money?

00:59:07 #1071 Don't worry about that.

00:59:09 #1072 I'm sorry, Olin.

00:59:10 #1073 Darling, I got some of that wonderful ven...

00:59:13 #1074 Well, hello, Mr. Fulton. It's so nice seeing you again.

00:59:17 #1075 Do you like venison?

00:59:18 #1076 Well, I'm afraid I can't see.

00:59:21 #1077 Why not?

00:59:22 #1078 I got some very important business in town.

00:59:24 #1079 Well, I'm very sorry.

00:59:26 #1080 I was going to fix you one of my special business.

00:59:29 #1081 Oh, I'm sorry.

00:59:30 #1082 Well, some other time.

00:59:33 #1083 Goodbye, Mrs. Bonnerberry.

00:59:34 #1084 Goodbye, Mr. Fulton.

00:59:35 #1085 Goodbye, Dick.

00:59:36 #1086 Do you think he's right?

00:59:47 #1087 He's always been right.

00:59:49 #1088 Until he married Birdie.

00:59:51 #1089 What's that got to do with it?

00:59:53 #1090 Maybe he's changed ever think of that?

00:59:56 #1091 Maybe he sees you through different eyes.

00:59:58 #1092 Oh, you talk like a fool.

01:00:00 #1093 Oh, and let's face it, your book is now being published by a man who sees his wife in your arms on every page.

01:00:06 #1094 He thinks that girl in there is birdie in you.

01:00:09 #1095 You're a child, birdie meant nothing to me.

01:00:11 #1096 He doesn't realize that, and he's still a human being, even if he is a publisher.

01:00:15 #1097 And he's a man.

01:00:17 #1098 Let's get away from here tonight.

01:00:19 #1099 Tonight? Oh, and you blame me, don't you?

01:00:26 #1100 Not really, Steve. It's just that it's so distracting to have a man's wife as his secretary, too.

01:00:34 #1101 I've got to try another book fast and then I have to get myself another secretary.

01:00:45 #1102 So I'm fired, is that it?

01:00:47 #1103 Oh, Steve, it'll be better for both of us if I work by myself.

01:00:51 #1104 It'll give you a chance to work on your own book.

01:00:54 #1105 I'll make dinner. Owen, I finished my book.

01:01:08 #1106 Oh, you did? Well, I'd like to read it.

01:01:13 #1107 It's been on your dressing room table for two weeks.

01:01:16 #1108 Well, I'll read it on the train.

01:01:21 #1109 a train don't bother you are not you calling get tickets for the train and then run

01:01:29 #1110 a wire to get you a new. A very well see Mr Harris told me a phone

01:01:55 #1111 a station that you have a nice honeymoons very nice thank you it must be lovely

01:01:59 #1112 of the cabin this time of the year yet. A waterberry original.

01:02:05 #1113 His last Steve hello Charles sit down on your own you're looking fine fine well four

01:02:15 #1114 months of the outdoor life none the worse for it Charles I want you to do me a favor

01:02:22 #1115 this is Owen's latest book

01:02:25 #1116 Putin doesn't like it I want you to read it and let me know what you think about it

01:02:30 #1117 I'll try to be as objective as possible you will be I know that I have another

01:02:36 #1118 manuscript for you mine you finished it yes it was a long uphill pull I've

01:02:43 #1119 I've changed the title so many times,

01:02:45 #1120 that I finally decided to call it Dawn's yearning.

01:02:49 #1121 What does Owen think of it?

01:02:52 #1122 Owen hasn't read it yet.

01:02:54 #1123 Oh?

01:02:55 #1124 He hasn't had time.

01:02:57 #1125 He's been busy writing.

01:02:58 #1126 He couldn't concentrate on it.

01:03:01 #1127 I'll be glad to read both of them.

01:03:04 #1128 Thank you, Charles.

01:03:10 #1129 Goodbye, Steve.

01:03:11 #1130 Goodbye, Charles.

01:03:27 #1131 On the third floor, but a cat found the Waterbury apartment.

01:03:30 #1132 Well, here's Mrs. Waterbury.

01:03:32 #1133 How do you do?

01:03:33 #1134 The employment service sent me over.

01:03:35 #1135 for Mr. Waterberry wants a new secretary.

01:03:38 #1136 Oh, is that so?

01:03:39 #1137 Yes.

01:03:40 #1138 Well, follow me.

01:03:41 #1139 Oh, thank you.

01:03:42 #1140 I know it's going to be so exciting working for Mr. Waterberry.

01:03:45 #1141 I love it.

01:03:46 #1142 I know, I will.

01:03:48 #1143 You know, this is such a rush call.

01:03:53 #1144 I hardly had time to drink.

01:03:54 #1145 The dress is beautiful.

01:03:56 #1146 Oh, thank you so much.

01:03:57 #1147 You know, I may found clothes.

01:03:59 #1148 Oh, really?

01:04:00 #1149 Yes.

01:04:01 #1150 Hey, come right in, Miss.

01:04:06 #1151 What did you say your name was?

01:04:07 #1152 Hilda Schneebacker.

01:04:09 #1153 Miss Kneebacker.

01:04:11 #1154 Oh, darling, this is your new secretary.

01:04:13 #1155 How do you do?

01:04:14 #1156 This is my husband Owen Waterbury and this is Ronnie, our next-door neighbor.

01:04:17 #1157 How do you do?

01:04:18 #1158 Can I get you something to drink?

01:04:20 #1159 Oh, have you any beer?

01:04:22 #1160 Well, I should say we have.

01:04:25 #1161 And we have pretzels, too.

01:04:28 #1162 I could just drink a barrel of beer.

01:04:34 #1163 What did you ask for, Anathon?

01:04:37 #1164 I thought they knew our account.

01:04:39 #1165 Nope.

01:04:40 #1166 I'll bother her.

01:04:46 #1167 Why don't you bring your beer over here

01:04:54 #1168 where we can be more comfortable?

01:04:56 #1169 Oh, uh, do you do laundry, Miss Schneebacher?

01:04:59 #1170 Just shirts and socks. I don't like to do sheets.

01:05:02 #1171 Well, sit down, please.

01:05:04 #1172 Uh, how are you on handicapping the horses, Miss Schneebacher?

01:05:08 #1173 Oh, yesterday I picked two winners.

01:05:10 #1174 Played them both right on the schnozola.

01:05:12 #1175 Oh, and I think she's enchanting.

01:05:14 #1176 Uh-oh. What size coat do you wear?

01:05:17 #1177 Can't wear coat on the job?

01:05:18 #1178 Oh, Mr. Waterbury likes to give all his employees mint coats for Christmas.

01:05:22 #1179 Oh, I wish I'd known that.

01:05:29 #1180 I wonder who she means.

01:05:31 #1181 I'm gonna love this job. You're all so nuts.

01:05:33 #1182 Do you object working late hours, Miss Sneebacker?

01:05:43 #1183 Not at all.

01:05:44 #1184 The room with a girlfriend. I haven't seen her since New Year.

01:05:48 #1185 Miss Sneebacker, I'm afraid this job is gonna be a little too much for you.

01:05:53 #1186 But why are we...

01:05:54 #1187 Well, you see, several parts of my new novel are mostly in French.

01:05:57 #1188 Well, I'm sure you don't speak French to you, Miss Sneebacker.

01:05:59 #1189 Daddy did for six years.

01:06:00 #1190 Once I had a French boyfriend, we had no trouble.

01:06:03 #1191 Ha ha!

01:06:04 #1192 Yes, but how's your shorthand?

01:06:07 #1193 I don't take shorthand.

01:06:12 #1194 You don't take shorthand?

01:06:15 #1195 Well, no, the agency said this was strictly a typing job.

01:06:18 #1196 Oh, no!

01:06:20 #1197 This is mostly a shorthand job.

01:06:22 #1198 But I could learn it!

01:06:23 #1199 No, I'm afraid not.

01:06:27 #1200 Well, guess that lets me out.

01:06:30 #1201 Leave the glass, please.

01:06:32 #1202 Oh, thanks for the beer.

01:06:44 #1203 That must be the next one.

01:06:45 #1204 The next one?

01:06:46 #1205 I told the agency to keep sending them until we said when.

01:06:55 #1206 How do you do?

01:06:56 #1207 Is this apartment 3E?

01:06:57 #1208 Yes, it is.

01:07:00 #1209 Does Mr. Owen Waterbury live here?

01:07:02 #1210 Yes, he does.

01:07:08 #1211 I'm Owen Waterbury.

01:07:10 #1212 Oh, Mr. Waterbury, the agency sent me.

01:07:13 #1213 Don O'Malley.

01:07:15 #1214 That's right.

01:07:16 #1215 Won't you come in, Miss O'Malley?

01:07:17 #1216 Thank you.

01:07:19 #1217 Won't you sit down, Miss O'Malley?

01:07:21 #1218 Thank you. Oh, this is my wife. How do you do?

01:07:26 #1219 You take your shorthand, of course. Yes, 120 words a minute.

01:07:31 #1220 Do you speak French, Mr. Malley?

01:07:34 #1221 Mon maire, le pays francès.

01:07:35 #1222 Émoper aussi.

01:07:36 #1223 Oh, the French are the only ones who can speak French.

01:07:39 #1224 A deep word met with Évo Malley.

01:07:41 #1225 Are you married by any chance?

01:07:43 #1226 Yes, I am. But the divorce can be final next week.

01:07:46 #1227 I see.

01:07:47 #1228 When, uh, when would you like me to begin?

01:07:50 #1229 You have begun.

01:07:51 #1230 Oh, thank you.

01:07:53 #1231 Uh, Steve, shall we prepare lunch and leave them alone?

01:07:55 #1232 I think they'd like to get to work.

01:07:57 #1233 All right.

01:07:58 #1234 Uh, tell me, uh, did you ever work for a writer before?

01:08:05 #1235 Yes, once about three years ago.

01:08:08 #1236 But I'd rather not talk about it.

01:08:10 #1237 Oh, well, why not?

01:08:12 #1238 Well, he asked me to work late one evening

01:08:14 #1239 and began getting a little fresh.

01:08:16 #1240 So I called the police.

01:08:18 #1241 All I want to do is work.

01:08:20 #1242 I guess the publicity burned his career.

01:08:22 #1243 But he deserved it.

01:08:24 #1244 Don't you agree?

01:08:26 #1245 Yes, I do.

01:08:28 #1246 How about lunch, Mr. O'Malley?

01:08:34 #1247 Oh, I've already eaten. Thank you.

01:08:36 #1248 And you, darling?

01:08:38 #1249 No thanks. I'll skip lunch today.

01:08:40 #1250 You just love living in this building, Mr. Scott.

01:08:44 #1251 And you just love the water purses.

01:08:46 #1252 They're so bohemian.

01:08:48 #1253 I'll go.

01:08:52 #1254 Hello.

01:08:56 #1255 Hello, Mrs. Walbury.

01:08:58 #1256 I want you to meet your new neighbor, Sylvain Scott.

01:09:01 #1257 He's moving out into the bachelor party upstairs.

01:09:02 #1258 The police are here for her.

01:09:04 #1259 Yes, I know, Mr. Scott.

01:09:05 #1260 Hello, Bethany.

01:09:06 #1261 How nice. Come in.

01:09:07 #1262 Come now.

01:09:08 #1263 I want you to meet the important member of the family.

01:09:09 #1264 This is the great Owen Walbury.

01:09:11 #1265 Oh.

01:09:13 #1266 How do you do, Mr. Walbury?

01:09:14 #1267 How do you do?

01:09:15 #1268 This is the.

01:09:15 #1269 This is the horrible Ronnie Hasty.

01:09:17 #1270 Hello.

01:09:18 #1271 New secretary.

01:09:19 #1272 Yes.

01:09:20 #1273 She was just tired, and I was just fired.

01:09:22 #1274 Mrs. Scott's a writer, too.

01:09:23 #1275 My building will be just crawling with them.

01:09:25 #1276 Yes, Mr. Scott and I went to night school together.

01:09:28 #1277 We're at that next to each other.

01:09:30 #1278 Mr. Scott used to be a ball player.

01:09:31 #1279 Just look at those shoulders.

01:09:34 #1280 And they're not padded either.

01:09:35 #1281 Well, what do you know?

01:09:38 #1282 Silvered writes that wonderful radio program

01:09:41 #1283 called John's Mother's Lover.

01:09:43 #1284 John's Mother's Sweetheart. Oh, yes.

01:09:45 #1285 Tell me, that confident you.

01:09:47 #1286 Is John's mother going to marry a sweetheart? No.

01:09:50 #1287 John's father objects.

01:09:52 #1288 John has no father.

01:09:54 #1289 Oh, poor John.

01:09:57 #1290 Sylvan, you'd better rush upstairs and start to work on that radio program.

01:10:00 #1291 You must neglect John.

01:10:02 #1292 Well, I'm in a little trouble.

01:10:03 #1293 You see, my secretary just got married.

01:10:05 #1294 Oh, but on earth are you going to do? I don't know.

01:10:08 #1295 I could help you, Sylvan. You, Stephanie?

01:10:10 #1296 Yes, you see, I was Mr. Waterbury's secretary before he married me.

01:10:14 #1297 That's right. You were.

01:10:16 #1298 The marriage was a bonus.

01:10:17 #1299 Oh, when could we begin?

01:10:19 #1300 Why don't you just say,

01:10:20 #1301 I've begun Ronnie give would you get me some shorthand books and some pencils

01:10:25 #1302 How much do you think you'll be giving me tonight? Well, we may be working most tonight. That's just ducky

01:10:31 #1303 I'm used to working at night. Goodbye darling. Don't work too hard. I won't come on

01:10:36 #1304 Oh, thank you Ronnie

01:10:45 #1305 Certainly has well

01:10:48 #1306 I guess I'll run along must you go. I was just poisoning the tea

01:10:56 #1307 You know, you're gonna really like it here, honey child.

01:11:09 #1308 Watch your hands.

01:11:10 #1309 I don't tolerate familiarity from anybody,

01:11:12 #1310 and I mean anybody.

01:11:13 #1311 I once ruined a man's career.

01:11:15 #1312 And don't you forget it.

01:11:17 #1313 Miss O'Malley, you may have the day off.

01:11:19 #1314 Why don't you make it a year?

01:11:21 #1315 But I haven't even begun yet.

01:11:22 #1316 Oh, that's all right.

01:11:23 #1317 You get paid just the same.

01:11:25 #1318 Oh, hello, I.

01:11:27 #1319 Oh, what time tomorrow?

01:11:29 #1320 Oh, any old time.

01:11:30 #1321 Suit yourself.

01:11:31 #1322 But I don't understand.

01:11:33 #1323 How about noon?

01:11:35 #1324 All right. Thank you.

01:11:42 #1325 Well?

01:11:43 #1326 You were saying something about poison tea?

01:11:46 #1327 I mixed it. I get firsties.

01:11:50 #1328 Now where was I?

01:11:52 #1329 Sound of footsteps. Three people.

01:11:55 #1330 Thank you.

01:11:57 #1331 Sound of footsteps. Three people.

01:12:01 #1332 Door bang, door cryage, door slam, two shots, three screens.

01:12:07 #1333 Farron, how does that sound?

01:12:09 #1334 Well...

01:12:10 #1335 It's Bedlam.

01:12:11 #1336 In love with your mother.

01:12:18 #1337 And tomorrow, I expect to be your father.

01:12:22 #1338 John's going to be your father, and I'm the first to know.

01:12:26 #1339 Now I don't have to listen tomorrow.

01:12:28 #1340 But father, I'm older than you are.

01:12:36 #1341 John's older than his father?

01:12:38 #1342 That's what I'd like to know.

01:12:46 #1343 I don't know.

01:12:48 #1344 But don't you worry, Miss Waterbury.

01:12:50 #1345 I'm not going to do anything.

01:12:52 #1346 Hello?

01:12:58 #1347 Hey, they just turned out the lights.

01:13:00 #1348 Who's calling?

01:13:04 #1349 This is Charles Harris speaking.

01:13:05 #1350 I'm sorry to be calling at such a late hour,

01:13:07 #1351 but I must talk to her.

01:13:08 #1352 They just turned out the light.

01:13:10 #1353 Will you keep quiet?

01:13:11 #1354 This is her husband.

01:13:13 #1355 No, she's out for the evening.

01:13:14 #1356 She's right upstairs.

01:13:16 #1357 And I don't know when she'll be back.

01:13:18 #1358 Didn't you hear me?

01:13:19 #1359 I said they just turned out the lights.

01:13:22 #1360 I don't like those.

01:13:26 #1361 I don't care what you do.

01:13:28 #1362 What's the matter?

01:13:30 #1363 I'm going to a hotel in case you're interested.

01:13:34 #1364 I'll go to a hotel after all.

01:13:36 #1365 This is your apartment. Oh, it isn't.

01:13:37 #1366 You pay the rent.

01:13:39 #1367 Ronnie, will you take this up to Mr. Scott's?

01:13:42 #1368 Possibly be jealous of that man upstairs.

01:13:48 #1369 Why, he's utterly harmless.

01:13:50 #1370 Boy, you really had me fooled.

01:13:52 #1371 Why do you say that?

01:13:54 #1372 Charles Harris just called.

01:13:56 #1373 You've seen it in Steve since we came back.

01:14:01 #1374 Oh, and it's terribly late.

01:14:04 #1375 And I don't like cross-examination.

01:14:07 #1376 After all, we're two adult human beings,

01:14:09 #1377 and we should be able to trust one another.

01:14:11 #1378 Don't smile at the way with pretty words, Steve.

01:14:13 #1379 Have you been seeing them? Yes.

01:14:15 #1380 All right, then this is it.

01:14:17 #1381 But I only saw Charles Harris for one reason.

01:14:20 #1382 I took him your manuscript.

01:14:22 #1383 He knows a great many publishers. Please, don't.

01:14:24 #1384 It's too late for that.

01:14:26 #1385 I felt that the night club you were in love with Harris,

01:14:28 #1386 and I knew he was in love with you.

01:14:30 #1387 After all, five years is a long time,

01:14:32 #1388 and I was a fool to think I could break it down.

01:14:34 #1389 I never loved Charles Harris.

01:14:36 #1390 Well, you never loved me.

01:14:37 #1391 You were in love with the schoolgirl notion

01:14:39 #1392 of a popular novelist.

01:14:41 #1393 I really tried to play this straight with you, Steve.

01:14:43 #1394 But I guess I made a beautiful mistake.

01:14:47 #1395 Owen, I was in love with you before I met you.

01:14:51 #1396 Something in your writing, the tone, the feeling,

01:14:55 #1397 the quality of feel to me so much that I used to imagine

01:14:59 #1398 you books were written just for me. It's true I built it up in a schoolgirl way and I was

01:15:08 #1399 so caught up in it I guess I would have married you the night you lectured in class. If you'd

01:15:14 #1400 stepped off that platform and asked me I would have married you just like that. How can

01:15:20 #1401 you talk to me like this? I put you way up there too Steve. You tore it down in

01:15:27 #1402 the cruelest way any woman could.

01:15:31 #1403 You once called me an egotistical fraud.

01:15:34 #1404 But what about you, Stephanie Gaylord? What have you been?

01:15:38 #1405 Go ahead, phone him! He's waiting for you!

01:15:56 #1406 Good morning, Mrs. Waterbury.

01:15:57 #1407 Good morning, L.C.I.. I have an appointment.

01:15:59 #1408 Yes, I know. Mr. Harris hasn't surprised for you.

01:16:01 #1409 Won't you come right in?

01:16:04 #1410 Steve.

01:16:04 #1411 Good morning, Charles.

01:16:06 #1412 Stephanie Gaylord, this is Mr. McNally, Mr. Hudson, Mr. Berger.

01:16:09 #1413 The literary time.

01:16:10 #1414 How do you do?

01:16:12 #1415 I do.

01:16:13 #1416 So you are Stephanie Gaylord.

01:16:16 #1417 Sit down, Steve.

01:16:18 #1418 It's a big morning in your life, Steve.

01:16:20 #1419 To McNally, his head of the publishing house in New York.

01:16:27 #1420 He flew down this morning.

01:16:28 #1421 That's why I called you so late last night.

01:16:30 #1422 We've read your book, Miss Gaylord.

01:16:32 #1423 How long have you worked on it?

01:16:35 #1424 About five years.

01:16:37 #1425 I'm recommending it for the McNally Winslow

01:16:39 #1426 Award for a first novel by an unknown.

01:16:43 #1427 I didn't know you were going to show my manuscript

01:16:45 #1428 to anyone.

01:16:47 #1429 I couldn't do anything else after reading it.

01:16:50 #1430 But don't you see what this will do to Owen?

01:16:53 #1431 What has Owen got to do with it?

01:16:57 #1432 Well, Owen's the big guy in my family,

01:17:00 #1433 and his novel's just been turned down.

01:17:04 #1434 If this happens on top of that, it would just

01:17:07 #1435 about destroy him.

01:17:09 #1436 He has to have a sense of importance.

01:17:12 #1437 He's lost all faith in himself.

01:17:14 #1438 You mean your husband would feel a sense of competition with you?

01:17:17 #1439 You don't understand, Mr. McNally. Owen's in trouble.

01:17:21 #1440 And with this wife, I have to help him climb out of it.

01:17:25 #1441 Steve, I thought you wanted to write

01:17:26 #1442 more than anything else in the world.

01:17:28 #1443 I thought so too before I married Owen.

01:17:32 #1444 What about Owen's manuscript?

01:17:34 #1445 Did you read it?

01:17:35 #1446 Yes.

01:17:36 #1447 It isn't bad.

01:17:38 #1448 It's good.

01:17:39 #1449 But it doesn't have what this has.

01:17:41 #1450 This has greatness.

01:17:48 #1451 Thank you very much, gentlemen.

01:17:50 #1452 Steve, please sit down.

01:17:52 #1453 I want to talk to you.

01:17:53 #1454 I'm giving your popovers another try.

01:19:01 #1455 Well, give me time to call the fire department.

01:19:04 #1456 No, no, no, Miss O'Malley.

01:19:06 #1457 That's not the line I gave you.

01:19:08 #1458 I'm sorry, Mrs. Scott.

01:19:09 #1459 All right, let's try it again.

01:19:11 #1460 Yes, sir.

01:19:12 #1461 John, mother, I've changed my mind.

01:19:17 #1462 I don't like your sweetheart.

01:19:19 #1463 Mother, well, I like him.

01:19:21 #1464 That's all that matters.

01:19:23 #1465 John, as your son, I refuse to approve the marriage.

01:19:27 #1466 Mother, you're not marrying him.

01:19:29 #1467 I am.

01:19:31 #1468 How does that sound?

01:19:32 #1469 Stinks.

01:19:33 #1470 Amen.

01:19:35 #1471 Mr. Hastings, I must say you're distracting.

01:19:39 #1472 You know, you shouldn't be using Mr. Waterbury's

01:19:41 #1473 apartment or Mr. Waterbury's secretary.

01:19:44 #1474 Well, Mrs. Waterbury isn't here,

01:19:46 #1475 and I've got to get the program out.

01:19:47 #1476 Why don't you work in your apartment?

01:19:49 #1477 She won't work upstairs.

01:19:51 #1478 Well, why don't you work without her?

01:19:53 #1479 I can't. I'm a dictator.

01:19:55 #1480 Dear, why won't you work upstairs?

01:19:58 #1481 I don't work in men's bedrooms.

01:20:01 #1482 It's not a bedroom. It's a bachelor apartment.

01:20:04 #1483 My husband was a hotel manager.

01:20:06 #1484 One room is a bedroom. Two or more is an apartment.

01:20:10 #1485 Sylvan, she's got you there.

01:20:12 #1486 Oh, come on, let's work.

01:20:14 #1487 Hello, Mr. Waterbeddy.

01:20:16 #1488 Yes, what can I do for you?

01:20:17 #1489 Remember me? I'm Debony of the brand detective agency.

01:20:20 #1490 Oh. What's it?

01:20:22 #1491 A bill for $845.62.

01:20:24 #1492 For what?

01:20:25 #1493 For shadowing and delving into the past of one Stephanie Gaylord.

01:20:28 #1494 But I'm married her.

01:20:30 #1495 We've shadowed Madden Bimba before.

01:20:35 #1496 Hi, hon. Get rid of this guy.

01:20:37 #1497 You want me to call the police?

01:20:38 #1498 I am the police.

01:20:39 #1499 What's this doing here?

01:20:40 #1500 That's my laundry.

01:20:41 #1501 Do you expect my wife to do your laundry?

01:20:43 #1502 Hey!

01:20:45 #1503 Hey, that's a little large for you, isn't it?

01:20:47 #1504 That's Mrs. Waterbury's laundry. That's mine.

01:20:49 #1505 Well, take it and get out of here.

01:20:52 #1506 And as for you, Madden was yellow, Mally.

01:20:53 #1507 You're fired for taking dictation from somebody else.

01:20:56 #1508 Well, that suits me just fine.

01:20:57 #1509 I wouldn't work for you even if I did

01:20:59 #1510 like your horrible writing. Where's Stephanie?

01:21:01 #1511 I don't know where she is.

01:21:02 #1512 I know where she is. Where?

01:21:04 #1513 You paid this bill and I'll let you know.

01:21:06 #1514 Ronnie, do you happen to have $845?

01:21:08 #1515 I'm 62 cents.

01:21:09 #1516 Why don't you write him a check?

01:21:11 #1517 Oh, yes.

01:21:13 #1518 Call that number right away.

01:21:15 #1519 Here's the detailed report.

01:21:17 #1520 It's very amusing.

01:21:18 #1521 You see, I had to shadow you at the same time

01:21:20 #1522 that I shadowed her.

01:21:22 #1523 Here's Stephanie.

01:21:23 #1524 Oh, Stephanie, where are you?

01:21:26 #1525 What?

01:21:27 #1526 What are you doing there?

01:21:29 #1527 Stephanie, if there were ever any chance

01:21:30 #1528 of our getting together, this kills it now, finally.

01:21:32 #1529 And for all time, we're through.

01:21:35 #1530 Charles Harris is a part of it. Just like that.

01:21:38 #1531 No sense of shame.

01:21:39 #1532 Well, maybe she got her old job back

01:21:41 #1533 and was working for him.

01:21:42 #1534 At his home?

01:21:42 #1535 What decent self-respecting girl

01:21:44 #1536 worked for a man at his home?

01:21:46 #1537 Maybe she's his secretary.

01:21:47 #1538 Please, don't tell me about secretary.

01:21:50 #1539 He could tell you.

01:21:51 #1540 Here's the report.

01:21:52 #1541 Page three is wonderful.

01:21:53 #1542 Right.

01:21:54 #1543 Call the informant agency.

01:21:55 #1544 I'm going to show her.

01:21:56 #1545 Look, I want a girl this time who's capable and efficient.

01:22:00 #1546 I'm calling for Mr. Owen Waterbag.

01:22:01 #1547 Ask typist.

01:22:02 #1548 I don't care what she looks like.

01:22:03 #1549 We don't care what she looks like,

01:22:05 #1550 as long as she's attractive.

01:22:09 #1551 Do you take shorthand?

01:22:11 #1552 Oh, but of course.

01:22:12 #1553 How to 20 words a minute.

01:22:14 #1554 And what did you say your name was?

01:22:18 #1555 Miss Pidgeon.

01:22:20 #1556 Her name is Miss Pidgeon.

01:22:22 #1557 Everybody says I'm slidey.

01:22:25 #1558 Where did you work before?

01:22:26 #1559 I'm just out of secretarial school.

01:22:28 #1560 I think it would be wonderful working for you, Mr. Waterbury.

01:22:32 #1561 You see, I hope to be a writer myself someday.

01:22:34 #1562 Oh.

01:22:36 #1563 Have you ever been married?

01:22:37 #1564 Oh, no.

01:22:38 #1565 Never.

01:22:39 #1566 And you have no objections to working on weekends?

01:22:42 #1567 Oh, not at all.

01:22:43 #1568 My time's completely my own.

01:22:45 #1569 And you think Mr. Waterbury is just wonderful?

01:22:49 #1570 Mm-hmm.

01:22:52 #1571 This is a clay pigeon.

01:22:56 #1572 I come for my thing. Follow me, Bill.

01:22:59 #1573 I know just where to go.

01:23:01 #1574 I want you to take everything out of that drawer and put it in that bag.

01:23:04 #1575 Right.

01:23:06 #1576 I knew you'd come back.

01:23:08 #1577 But it's only for a moment.

01:23:09 #1578 Where's the mink coat?

01:23:11 #1579 I didn't get a mink coat. Come into the bedroom, Bill.

01:23:14 #1580 What's the matter?

01:23:16 #1581 Short of minks?

01:23:17 #1582 Haven't you been here before?

01:23:18 #1583 Sure. I came with the other way.

01:23:20 #1584 I've got a cab stand downstairs now.

01:23:22 #1585 If you need a cab, just open the window and holler.

01:23:25 #1586 Well, I'm going to do a lot of hollering now.

01:23:29 #1587 That's his former secretary.

01:23:32 #1588 Get my bag and things out of the closet.

01:23:33 #1589 Oh, so you're not in love with Harris,

01:23:34 #1590 but you go to his apartment.

01:23:36 #1591 You wouldn't let me explain it.

01:23:37 #1592 Now I'm not going to.

01:23:38 #1593 Explain what kind of an explanation

01:23:39 #1594 could you make anyway?

01:23:40 #1595 It doesn't matter anymore. You're right.

01:23:42 #1596 It doesn't matter anymore.

01:23:43 #1597 Isn't she getting awfully personal?

01:23:45 #1598 What a wonderful typist.

01:23:47 #1599 Charles Harris is a part of it.

01:23:49 #1600 Just like that.

01:23:51 #1601 Anything else, Miss?

01:23:52 #1602 Yes, my picture.

01:23:54 #1603 If you were a man, I'd ask you to step outside.

01:24:02 #1604 Go ahead. Hit me. I dare you.

01:24:05 #1605 Did he slap her?

01:24:07 #1606 I should say not. She slapped him.

01:24:10 #1607 I've known all along why you've presented me.

01:24:13 #1608 It was because I liked your novel and I told you so.

01:24:15 #1609 You think you've wasted your time. That's your tragedy.

01:24:17 #1610 My only tragedy is you.

01:24:20 #1611 I'm going far, far away from here and I'm going to write a book about you.

01:24:23 #1612 I'm going to call up the heal and his victim.

01:24:25 #1613 That's a very horrible title.

01:24:26 #1614 It'll do. Goodbye, Owen Waterbury.

01:24:28 #1615 And do you ever try and get in touch with me because I want no more of you?

01:24:32 #1616 And that goes for me, too.

01:24:38 #1617 Where's Miss Pidge?

01:24:39 #1618 She, uh, flew the coop.

01:24:42 #1619 Where do you think Steve's going?

01:24:44 #1620 I think she's gonna marry Harris.

01:24:45 #1621 Harris, I'd like to see that little worm.

01:24:48 #1622 I'm going, too.

01:24:49 #1623 Now where are you going?

01:24:50 #1624 I'm so mad I could get married.

01:24:52 #1625 You know what I think I'll have to?

01:24:53 #1626 For whom are you gonna marry?

01:24:55 #1627 It'll be a female. That's about all I can say.

01:25:30 #1628 I'd like to see Mr. Harris. Your name?

01:25:32 #1629 I'm sorry, sir.

01:25:37 #1630 Excuse me, sir.

01:25:39 #1631 Excuse me?

01:25:41 #1632 I didn't mean to disturb you and my secretary.

01:25:43 #1633 Your former secretary?

01:25:45 #1634 I didn't know you were in the middle of...

01:25:47 #1635 ...dictation.

01:25:49 #1636 Your sarcasm is quite uncalled for.

01:25:51 #1637 I don't have to tell you what I think of a man who behaves this way with a secretary.

01:25:53 #1638 You keep out of this, Elsie.

01:25:55 #1639 Look, Charles and I are going to be married.

01:25:57 #1640 Congratulations.

01:25:59 #1641 Just where does that leave my wife?

01:26:01 #1642 How do you suppose she's going to feel about this?

01:26:03 #1643 She's in love with you, you know.

01:26:05 #1644 You never deserve to find a girl with Stephanie anyway.

01:26:08 #1645 You know, Harris, I've always wanted to tell you

01:26:09 #1646 that I really think you're a crude person.

01:26:12 #1647 Your motive is very obvious.

01:26:13 #1648 You've given me a lot of grief ever since I married Stephanie

01:26:16 #1649 and I came up here to turn your hide.

01:26:17 #1650 So put up your hands and defend yourself like a man.

01:26:19 #1651 Oh, you can't, nobody's hide.

01:26:22 #1652 Oh, listen to me, you fool.

01:26:24 #1653 Why do you think Stephanie came up here in the first place?

01:26:27 #1654 Because she wrote a novel and Harris wanted to have it published.

01:26:29 #1655 But she didn't want that.

01:26:31 #1656 She was afraid it would hurt your vanity

01:26:32 #1657 and wreck your marriage. She wanted him to help you instead.

01:26:36 #1658 Oh, look, I've read your last book, The One Fullton Turned Down.

01:26:39 #1659 It's grand, it's exciting, it's wonderful. Fullton's wrong.

01:26:43 #1660 He's just jealous because of Birdie, and it's all your own fault, Mr. Great Guy.

01:26:47 #1661 You know, someday Stephanie's going to be a better writer than you are.

01:26:50 #1662 That's my opinion, and you've always valued it.

01:26:53 #1663 Here, Stephanie's novel, Read That and Really Get Jealous.

01:26:58 #1664 You know you're not going to get her back. She's gone away, and it serves you right.

01:27:02 #1665 I hope I kicked a little sense into you, but I doubt it.

01:27:06 #1666 Goodbye, Mr. Waterbury.

01:27:07 #1667 What's yours, please?

01:28:29 #1668 Four C's.

01:28:34 #1669 Isn't that Sovin Scott's apartment? Oh, I didn't.

01:28:36 #1670 I didn't know who lived there, but, uh, I'm his new secretary.

01:28:39 #1671 I see.

01:28:40 #1672 Well, good luck.

01:28:47 #1673 Hello, Mr. Waterbury.

01:28:55 #1674 Hello, Mary.

01:28:56 #1675 Oh, I guess so.

01:29:08 #1676 Mary, did you see Ronnie around?

01:29:09 #1677 Well, I haven't seen Mr. Ronnie in about three days.

01:29:13 #1678 But I heard Telly got married.

01:29:15 #1679 Mary?

01:29:17 #1680 That's funny. He didn't even invite me to the wedding ceremony.

01:29:20 #1681 Me neither.

01:29:21 #1682 Rani gets married. I'm getting a divorce.

01:29:29 #1683 Did you know that, Mary? This is Waterbury's divorce.

01:29:34 #1684 I sure was sorry to hear that, Mr. Waterbury.

01:29:36 #1685 She was an awful nice person. So was you.

01:29:41 #1686 At times.

01:29:46 #1687 Well, I see Scott's hiring a new male secretary.

01:29:50 #1688 Well, Mr. Scott doesn't live in this building anymore.

01:29:52 #1689 He moved out yesterday.

01:29:55 #1690 Who moved in up there?

01:29:57 #1691 Mrs. Waterberry.

01:30:01 #1692 Yes, she's a big writer now.

01:30:03 #1693 Well, of all the herb, I'll fix first.

01:30:05 #1694 You can't do this to me.

01:30:07 #1695 Yes, what can I do for you?

01:30:24 #1696 Out. I said get out.

01:30:26 #1697 But I don't understand, honey.

01:30:28 #1698 Don't you listen to him.

01:30:29 #1699 This is my wife.

01:30:30 #1700 You're his wife?

01:30:31 #1701 I'm trying very desperately not to be.

01:30:33 #1702 Didn't you get the divorce papers today?

01:30:35 #1703 You're still my wife until the final decree,

01:30:37 #1704 and that takes a whole year.

01:30:38 #1705 Are you still here? I said get out.

01:30:40 #1706 Mr. Dimpson, you come back here tomorrow morning at 9 o'clock.

01:30:42 #1707 You'll come back here never if I find you here again.

01:30:44 #1708 I'll throw you out on your ears.

01:30:47 #1709 Hiring male secretaries right under my nose.

01:30:50 #1710 Right over your nose, dear.

01:30:52 #1711 And don't be cute at a time like this.

01:30:54 #1712 Why'd you take this apartment anyway?

01:30:56 #1713 Because it was the only one I could find in Mrs. Reeves' kind enough to let me have it.

01:31:00 #1714 Oh, sure, sure.

01:31:02 #1715 I thought you'd think I was chasing you, Owen Waterbury.

01:31:07 #1716 With my living here need cost no embarrassment.

01:31:10 #1717 We can be friends, meet in the hallway,

01:31:12 #1718 and exchange polite little hello.

01:31:15 #1719 I exchanged polite little hello with your friend Harris recently.

01:31:20 #1720 Elsie was there.

01:31:22 #1721 You told me all about your book.

01:31:25 #1722 Or you didn't want to have it published because of what it might do to me.

01:31:29 #1723 Oh, silly.

01:31:31 #1724 Do you think I look upon you as a competitor?

01:31:34 #1725 Don't you think I can compete with you, Mr. Waterbury?

01:31:37 #1726 I read your book last night.

01:31:39 #1727 Kept me up most of the night.

01:31:42 #1728 You want to know something?

01:31:43 #1729 Yes.

01:31:44 #1730 You're better than I am.

01:31:46 #1731 But don't tell anybody because I'll deny it.

01:31:49 #1732 Now you listen to me, Mr. Owen Waterbury.

01:31:52 #1733 I'm a human being too, and I have certain rights and privileges.

01:31:56 #1734 I had an idea for a book, and you made me lose a very good equitry.

01:32:00 #1735 Well, look, why don't you dictate it to me?

01:32:03 #1736 You!

01:32:04 #1737 Sure, I can take shorthand.

01:32:05 #1738 Oh, and what a very...

01:32:06 #1739 Look, you want to know a secret?

01:32:07 #1740 What?

01:32:08 #1741 I'm a better secretary than you are.

01:32:10 #1742 Oh!

01:32:13 #1743 All right, prove it.

01:32:14 #1744 Get the shorthand book and pencil.

01:32:16 #1745 Okay.

01:32:17 #1746 And I don't want to hear another word about our personal problems until I get this down.

01:32:22 #1747 Let's call this...

01:32:24 #1748 Notes on my new novel by Stephanie Gale.

01:32:29 #1749 This will be the story of a girl who became secretary to a very egotistical man.

01:32:38 #1750 Who thought he knew everything there was to know about life.

01:32:42 #1751 Oh, now wait a minute, please.

01:32:43 #1752 Please, please, you're interrupting my train of thought.

01:32:46 #1753 He was a practice in an ugly sort of way.

01:32:52 #1754 Thanks a million.

01:32:53 #1755 Will you please stop interrupting me?

01:32:56 #1756 But he was filled with childish frustrations and complexes,

01:33:02 #1757 which she in her silly way tried to cure.

01:33:05 #1758 Now wait a minute, Steve, I'm not going to sit here and take down this.

01:33:07 #1759 Listen, this is my new book.

01:33:10 #1760 Until she suddenly discovered he didn't need a wife.

01:33:18 #1761 He needed a psychiatrist.

01:33:22 #1762 A psychiatrist? That doesn't...

01:33:24 #1763 Now I'm insane, am I? Okay!

01:33:26 #1764 But if you publish that book, I'll sue you!

01:33:28 #1765 You just go ahead and sue me if you think I'm a friend!

01:33:31 #1766 Hello.

01:33:33 #1767 You know, this book sounds very interesting,

01:33:35 #1768 but there's one thing I'd better know.

01:33:37 #1769 Did she love him?

01:33:38 #1770 Well, of course she loved him.

01:33:39 #1771 She loved him deeply, devotedly, desperately.

01:33:42 #1772 Then why didn't you say so?

01:33:47 #1773 I've, uh, I've come for the rent.

01:33:50 #1774 Ronnie is your, uh, new landlord.

01:33:52 #1775 Ha!

01:33:54 #1776 Oh no no, that pos belongs up there!

01:33:58 #1777 Miss Cunninger!

01:33:59 #1778 Here!

01:34:00 #1779 This cunninger's here!

01:34:02 #1780 What a grocery! Joe!

01:34:04 #1781 G-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g.